Introducing Benjamin Richard Clarke

We're in Labor!

I'll talk to you when I can.

Indy

Think Harrison Ford is too old to play Indiana Jones?



I sure as hell don't.

Fantastic Four Omnibus

You know the people that have to buy a dvd twice because it's the ultra special edition with two minutes of extra footage and one more documentary?

You're looking at him.

I'm an archivist. I need to have the works that have affected and inspired me at my fingertips. And I need to have the best version.

About five years ago, I started buying Marvel Masterworks, expensive hardcovers that collect the best of the Silver Age, including Jack Kirby's entire run of the Fantastic Four. Now comes the Fantastic Four Omnibus. A larger hardcover collecting three volumes of Masterworks.

A ripoff? Seemingly but I was anxious to get it. The art has been completely restored. Even digital snapshots show the sharper linework and rich colors. These things were originally printed on toilet paper and now I've upgraded from glossy stock to thicker, less glossy stock. And I feel smart for doing so.





I skipped volume 1 since the stories there aren't as strong. But volume 2 are the best comics ever made. From the Galactus Trilogy to "This Man, This Monster", this is the peak of Stan Lee and Jack Kirby's career, the two most important men in comic history. So maybe I do need it again.


I have this run digitally, in hardcovers and deluxe hardcovers. It's never going to end, is it?

I'm Back on Raging Face!

Read "Dissertation on the Mouth".

Norm and Conan

Norm Macdonald may be the funniest man alive and this may be the funniest thing he did. Watch him ruin Conan's interview with Courtney Thorne-Smith. And yes there's a reason that's a picture of Carrot Top.

Fantastic Four Theme Song

If you wondered who in their right minds would have animated that Human Torch song, it was from the 1995 Fantastic Four animated series. When X-Men and Spider-Man hit in the mid 90's, Marvel wanted all their properties to have animated series that could sell action figures. No matter how sloppily done. This show was paired with Iron Man and aired early Sunday mornings. It was awful but it served its purpose as each show got a figure line that ran for years. I was grateful to finally get a Galactus.

The show was so bad that everyone was fired after the first thirteen episodes. Only the voices of Ben,, Reed and Sue remained for the second season. Larry Houston from X-Men came on board and started from scratch. That season was a decent adaptation of the best of Kirby and Byrne and the only reason I bought the dvds.

How bad was the first season? They had Johnny sing once but this theme song played EVERY WEEK.

Flame On!

Renee starts her maternity leave today. Since we both have the time I'm taking her to see "Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer". I don't know if she'll like it as much as I did, but she's bound to think it's better than this:



I'm pretty sure Brian Austin Green wrote this song himself. And it led directly to him getting fired before the second season.

Hellboy figure review

Last week I reviewed the Hellboy animated dvd. It came with a figure and I reviewed that. Figures.com picked it up and you can read the whole thing here.

I'm on Gotham Radio!

Music and comedy aren't an easy mix. Anyone who's rolled their eyes at the musical guest on SNL can tell you that. The worst show I ever did was at the intermission of a music gig. So I wasn't too excited when Billy the Kid invited me to the Waltz Astoria to do a set. But it was a folk show in a coffee house. Where people like to listen.

Billy had a great set which was recorded for Gotham Radio. I did really well but I didn't expect to be on the radio show myself. And yet, here I am.

Listen to the show!

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer

Never underestimate the value of lowered expectations.

The first Fantastic Four movie was bland, medicocre and unfocused. Most of the blame falls at director Tim Story's feet who, if the dvd extras are any indication, is the least effective director this country has ever seen. There is footage of set designers, stuntment and cg effects heads literally telling this guy what to do. Explains all that product placement.

There's no way to know if he's gotten more serious this time out but the story has and everyone else knew what to do with it. This film is an adaptation of Lee and Kirby's peak on the book, borrowing heavily from both the famous Galactus trilogy and the Dr. Doom/ Silver Surfer saga that followed a few issues later. It would be hard to screw this up and for once, Story doesn't. There are no dalmatians covering their eyes here. When the Surfer arrives he is serious and otherworldly. The rest of the film falls into place behind that tone and we get a cosmic tale, a scary Doom and a smart Reed Richards. It's about time.

The cg effects are wonderful. There are fights in London, Latveria and Tokyo that actually feel like the epic clashes of the book. Yes, Galactus is a giant cloud but he's still frightening (I like to think the classic Galactus was IN that cloud. Helps me sleep at night.). The Silver Surfer himself is handled perfectly. I particularly love how when he was weakened, the silver tarnished into a dull grey. And on the prosthetic side, Doom and Thing are tweaked to emanate their classic looks more accurately.

The movie is lean at a mere 90 minutes. That keeps it from getting bogged down in subplots like Spider-Man 3. And unlike that movie, I'm looking forward to seeing this one again. Even in a comic book movie, less is more.

Drucker Won!

Mike Drucker won the PIXAR Ratatouille Contest!! He'll be flown to L.A. on Monday where he'll do a spot at the L.A. Improv. Three comics will perform and if he wins that, he'll open for Jeaneane Garafalo and Patton Oswalt in a theater the next night.

Thanks to everyone who voted for him.

I Got Comedy. I Got It Bad.

Last night I stopped by the Limerick House to see Jimmy Q and Rich Shultis' show. I haven't done a lot of spots lately so I was glad they put me up at the end of the night. Had a great time and tried new material but after the show Gabe Pacheco and I ran out to the PIT to do a 2 minute open mike. I mean, ran. Why isn't 10 minutes of free stage time enough?

The mike was worth the run and the Limerick House went well. So well that I'm back next week.

Method And Madness
The Limerick House
23rd St between 5th and 6th Ave.
6/19 9:00

Hellboy: Blood and Iron

The dvd is out today and it delivers on its promise. It's better than Sword of Storms.

The first animated movie was good but episodic and too weird for its own good. It had a giant turtle man with a water bowl head in it. This film is more what I expected. It's a moody vampire tale set in an old castle. There are nods to Mignola's classic "Wake the Devil". In the first five minutes Hellboy fights a minotaur in a sewer. Any Hellboy fan should feel comfortable here.

The dvd is once again loaded with features. There's a commentary with Mike Mignola and directors Tad Stones and Vic Cook that's so enlightening it's worth listening to immediately after the film. There are two comics, one digital and one insterted in the package. A robust making of documentary is a welcome sight. There's even a new Hellboy short based on Mignola's "The Iron Shoes". And if you go to Best Buy, you'll get an exclusive bonus, a 6 inch superposeable Hellboy action figure. Three guesses where I got my copy.

Sopranos Finale

If all David Chase wanted was to defy audience expectations, it was a rousing success. If all the audience wanted was closure, it was frustrating waste of time.

After last week's explosive episode, everyone was led to believe this would be a bloodbath. Instead it was the most subdued episode this season. Half of the characters were written out earlier so last night took its time with the remainder. I wouldn't have guessed we'd spend so much time with A.J. or the FBI agent. Uncle Junior's senility and Paulie's superstitions had been well covered earlier this season but revisited. And for some reason, this final episode set up new threads rather than tie up old ones.

I imagine the final scene will be as controversial and hotly debated as the Seinfeld finale. Personally, I'm just glad I was never emotionally invested in the series. I watched it solely for plot. Too bad the final episode had none.

Weird Week

Things I learned this week:

1. Renee's blood pressure goes up when she's happy. Or nervous. Or thinking about a baby.

2. A seven pound baby needs a dresser twelve times its body weight.

3. When you order a hundred pound dresser, the delivery guys will only take it as far as your front steps.

4.You can pull a groin muscle right next to your hernia without it affecting the hernia. Still hurts like hell.

5. Three pounds overweight and a pulled groin muscle ends in a stalemate. And no dessert.

6. Don's stare Fozzie in the eyes too long. He will chase your pulled groin ass all over the house.

7. Too much downloading will clog your memory until you reboot. 700 Justice League comics count as too much.

8. The Youtube sketchies should have had more finalists in round 1.

9. A great crowd for me is a disappointment to Todd Barry.

10. Stevie Ray Vaughan was about my age when he died. He died when I was in high school. And I'm still nowhere as good as him.

Doctors All Day

If stress and anxiety are bad for your health, why do doctors work in an environment that promotes them?

The Nightwatchman

Now I know why Audioslave broke up.

When we were in Niagra Falls, I caught an interview on PBS with Tom Morello. He brought a nylon string acoustic guitar and played two protest songs. Although he had played these songs for years in smaller venues, they came as a complete surprise. I had seen Morello live with Audioslave and he never even sang back-up. His voice is a revelation and carries the right amount of sincerity for the material.

Now the album, "The Nightwatchman: One Man Revolution" is out. The title is a mouthful and the record label doesn't seem happy with the concept (marketing proclaims "Tom Morello IS the Nightwatchman") but the music is worth it. The thireteen tracks contain an outpouring of emotion that must have been bottled up for years. While Bush set to work destroying this country, the most outspoken guitarist of our generation was playing Chris Cornell's "all my friends are dead from heroin" songs. I loved Audioslave but I can't say they were ABOUT anything. This album is about EVERYTHING from the war to poor to the subtle racism that still faces a famous Harvard graduate.

But it's not simply preaching. It's musically sound. Morello channels Bob Dylan, Woody Guthrie and Leonard Cohen in simple chords and elegant orchestration. There's no whammy pedal but there are pianos, organs, harmonies and percussion. Only Morello is credited in the liner notes which makes it the first truly solo album I know since Prince was in his heyday.

Listening to this album in its entirety, I found it an interesting touchstone on the way to the inevitable Rage Against the Machine reunion. But now I can't stop playing the album. It slowly gets into your soul until it becomes a part of it. And that is how you start a revolution. For those of you keeping score, Morello is now three times my hero.

Here's the video for "The Road I Must Travel":

Vote for Drucker!

He's a finalist in the myspace Ratatouille "So You Think You're Funny" contest. I have no idea what that is and I don't know what the prize is. But I do know winning is a good thing.

He's contestant #1. Vote for him!

Fitting Into a Narrow Category

Renee just sent me this. I don't know where she got it.

This is you:

When water rats talk, people listen. Commanding and eloquent, always the center of attention, the Water Rats also have a soft side that endears them to the world. When the world needs, Water Rats are there. Humanitarian fighters against hunger, illness, sadness, they try to bring happiness to others through their compassionate endeavors and smiling warmth. When the world wants a friend, it's the loyal and sincere Water Rat which draws them in. The Water Rat has a successful career but money-wise, it's pretty much middle of the road. Changing free-spending ways could lead to financial security if they are willing to make the effort. Their natural charisma attracts members of the opposite sex like wildfire, but Water Rats often don't set their standards high enough and are quite indiscriminate in seeking love affairs, until they finally settle down later in life. Once this happens, they advance pretty far exhibiting oodles of charm with their loved ones.

Famous RAT people: Richard Nixon, Shakespeare, Prince Charles, Julia Child, Louis Armstrong, Prince Andrew, Andrew Lloyd-Webber, Kathleen Battle, Albert Finney

And this is me:
Look no further than the Wood Tiger for true friendship. This compassionate human being is always ready to lend his or her shoulder for friends to lean on. Friends show a reciprocal spirit. When the Wood Tiger needs it, friendship and support are always there and indirectly help the Tiger's successful ascent up the career ladder. Once there, this Tiger experiences such prosperity, it's almost like winning the lottery, except it's earned good fortune. Wood Tigers are very creative in finding ways to make life exciting, never lacking inspiration to change what can be changed and to forge ahead with native wit and charm. When it comes to Love, the male Wood Tiger has to fight his fantasy of becoming a playboy. When he experiences that familiar lust-in-his-heart tickle, he has to give in instead to his ingrained gentility. When it's time for a Wood Tiger to marry, he nearly always attracts a very beautiful wife. Also gentle, the female Wood Tiger is very generous with love and kisses and is always good to her husband. Wood Tigers in general have a very fulfilling and happy family life, with no regrets.

Famous TIGER people: Sun Yat-Sen, Jiang Zemin, Ho Chih Minh,Princess Anne, General Charles de Gaulle, Charles Lindbergh, Beethoven, Queen Beatrix, King Juan Carlos I, Jonas Salk, Queen Elizabeth


So I'm Richard Nixon and she's Tiger Woods. I hope she will be happy with her very beautiful wife.

Last Night Rocked

Like Brian Posehn singing metal.



Honestly, by 2 a.m. it was the best birthday party ever.

Thanks for coming out.

Birthday Show Tonight!

See below.

Special Birthday Show Tomorrow!

I'm 35 and hosting. What will that be like?


Thursday, May 31st

POTTYMOUTHS
in the Guero Lounge at Julep
9 Avenue A bet. 1/2 Streets
F/V trains to 2nd Avenue

***FREE***
10:00

There will be drink specials, nihilism, and next-day apologies. We will be collectively celebrating the birthdays of RG Daniels and Jon Clarke and anyone who's birthday falls in between (you know who you are). And there's more:

Tom McCaffrey has quietly amassed a downtown legacy that is beginning to creep into the collective New York comedy conscious (whoa, too many hard C's--anyway). He has appeared on Comedy Central & VH-1 multiple times. His droll take on everything from hip-hop blow jobs to aging cops in movies more than validate Tom's humor and originality. He performs nightly on some of NYC's freshest stages and this Thursday, Tom's at POTTYMOUTHS.

+ special guests: Mad Dog Mattern, Summer Krieghauser, Jonathan Randall, RG Daniels, Ed Murray, and Jeff Ragsdale
Hosted by Jon Clarke

If They're Going to Tell You You're Fired...

It's best if it's not the IT guy.

Batman 5: Dead End

There are fan films and there are fan films. Then's there's "Dead End".

This was intended to be Sandy Collora's reel but it leaked out at the 2003 San Diego Comicon. people went nuts. The story was thin but the look and especially the costumes sold it. Didn't hurt that Collora was an assistant for Stan Winston.

Batman 4: The New Adventures of Batman

I'm a Batman fanatic and I barely remember this. In 1977 Adam West and Burt Ward reunited as voice actors in a new Batman animated series. "The New Adventures of Batman" ran 13 episodes but now it's coming out on dvd. At the time "Superfriends" was still airing so I imagine a second series wasn't looked upon favorably by fans (much like JLU viewers hated the arrival of "The Batman").

It looks awful, thanks to the addition of Bat-Mite to the cast. Though the opening titles didn't help. Anyone know why the characters are pitching a show you're already watching?



Yeah, I'm buying it.

Lois Lane

It's my birthday. You know what I'd like? Adulation.

Im very proud to announce the latest Play Cole action figure animation, "Lois Lane: Intrepid Reporter". Like "William Shatner on the Muppet Show", this took months to create. But this is shorter, tighter and boasts an expanded cast. Everyone from Pat Dixon to Maddog Mattern did voice over work on this and every one of them knocked it out of the park. Hope you like it.



How does this tie into Batman Week? Cause Batman's in it. And I play him.

Batman 2: LEGO

Renee loves LEGO. I love Batman. So when LEGO announced they acquired the Batman license last year, we were both interested. With the baby coming, we cracked. We bought and built a little Arkham Asylum, figuring it will still be compatible when our child's old enough. It should be, considering these bricks were made in 1961.

"Star Wars" changed LEGO when they partnered in 1999. That line was so successful that it spawned cg animated films and video games in the LEGO style. Batman has followed suit. The video game will be out in 2008 but this short introduced the line. Batman can't get any cuter than this.

Batman 1: Harvey Dent

It's Batman Week at Not In My Book! There are a few reasons for this:

1. I love Batman.
2. It's my birthday this week.
3. There's a Batman related surprise coming.
4. Here, we do what I say.

Shooting has begun on the sequel to "Batman Begins". Right now it's called "The Dark Knight" and Christian Bale and Christopher Nolan have returned. Even better, Two-Face and the Joker are the villains. But you probably know all that. What you may not know is Warner Brothers has just released the first official picture:




That's Aaron Eckhart as Harvey and eventually Two-Face. Already he looks more the part than Billy Dee Williams or Tommy Lee Jones. The only movie I've seen Eckhart in so far is "Thank You For Smoking" and if that movie is any indication, he's perfect. No pictures of his Two-Face makeup yet, but there is a surprise if you go here.

Drucker's on SNL Right Now!

And Zach Braff is playing him.

UPDATE: Here's the sketch.

Opposite Game

I'm enraged at the post office today, which I know will do me no good. I can't fight the post office. They got thousands of employees who don't do a damn thing.

But this makes me feel better. It's Maggie Faris and Mike Drucker playing the opposite game. Show me two more likeable comedians and I'll be their friends too.

Diamond Buys Art Asylum

Here's the official word:

Diamond Select Toys and Collectibles, LLC (DST) is excited to announce its acquisition of select assets of New York based Art Asylum Inc. The acquisition, which is effective immediately, comes after a long and prosperous relationship between the two companies.

Art Asylum was founded in 1996 by Digger T. Mesch and Donna Soldano as a development and design house, and quickly became home to some of the most talented designers in the toy industry. Their work has been manufactured by some of the best known companies in the industry, including Toy Biz (Marvel Toys), Playmates, Hasbro, Play Along and a host of other companies. After several years as a development house Art Asylum created Art Asylum, LLC and turned to manufacturing and developed lines for licenses including Batman, Star Trek, Tony Hawk, Bruce Lee and KISS.

The effects of the acquisition will be felt immediately in the toy industry, as the fast growing DST, one of the leading toy and collectible manufactures for the specialty market, now has the added value of an industry leading design house. DST is consistently putting out many new products a month from licenses including Marvel, Spider-man 3, “24,” and Star Trek and now with the added depth that the Art Asylum name and experience brings, DST will look to become a major player in the industry.

DST has contracted Art Asylum in the past for their Star Trek and Marvel lines, but will now have the full breadth of talent in house, and available for upcoming releases – including the new Battlestar Galactica line and future projects.

“Art Asylum made its mark on the toy industry with its unique style and top of the line development. We are excited to have access to all the tools that built the company and utilize them to help grow our business even further,” remarked Chuck Terceira, Director of DST.

Art Asylum’s most notable and longest running brand, Minimates, will now lie in the hands of DST which has utilized the Minimate brand previously with its Street Fighter, Rocky and most notably Marvel licenses. Minimates have become the #1 block figure brand in the world and aside from DST’s lines, there have been successful lines based on DC Comics, Lord of the Rings and KISS. The 2” scale action figures, with 14 points of articulation, are heading into possibly the biggest year ever with DST, which has a full stable of licenses prepared to add to the ever growing Minimate Universe.

Moving over to join the DST team as part of the deal are Donna Soldano and Robert Yee of Art Asylum. Soldano, one of the founding partners of Art Asylum, has vast experience in both product development and overseas production. She brings to DST over 10 years of experience in developing toy lines for both the specialty and mass markets and along with her wide knowledge of the industry. Robert Yee has occupied several posts in the toy industry including serving as Director of Legal Affairs for Toymax Inc. and serving as Director of R&D for Monogram International. More recently Yee, an original member of the Art Asylum, rejoined the company in 2005 to head up product development. Yee’s legal knowledge coupled with his experience in leading development and overseas production teams will be fully utilized by DST.

Adam Unger, who served as a vice president at Art Asylum, will be working with DST on a consulting basis during the transition with a focus on new business development and sales.

Digger T. Mesch recently formed Dig Deep Entertainment in Hong Kong. Dig Deep is focused primarily on developing Digger’s original content for film and television but continues to create high end design and development of 3D product and events. Dig Deep recently developed DST’s Marvel Civil War bust line and Marvel Zombies. Digger will be available for consultancy on the projects that Dig Deep Entertainment develops for DST.

“The acquisition takes DST’s level product development and production departments to new levels, and we are excited on all fronts,” added Terceira.


I'd known about this for a while but for some reason, this press release makes me sad. I've been working with the Asylum on and off for about ten years now but I mostly remember 1998-1999, the one year I spent in the studio. The work was great, the jokes were loud and the nights were long. I barely made enough to eat. But it didn't matter. I was having the time of my life.

Art Asylum was the turning point of my career, bridging my floundering comic book work with a lucrative time in advertising. I learned how to work in an office environment and deal with extreme personalities (which we all were). I got to work on Marvel, DC and Star Trek, for crying out loud. It doesn't get any better than that.

Robert's already invited me to the new offices and I'm happy to visit but it won't be the same. Renee found out a few years ago her college was closing its doors. Now I know how she feels.

Soldiers Can't Post

Remember the pictures I showed of my cousin Sean in Iraq? Turns out today he wouldn't be able to see them. That's because the Pentagon is cracking down on soldiers' internet usage, blocking sites like myspace and youtube.

Wasn't it bad enough when they couldn't get armor? Now they can't even get fake girls to be their friends?

This has nothing to do with bandwidth resources and everything to do with controlling information. The government was happy with the old system of one letter every six months. The fact that soldiers can give their loved ones a first-hand account of the front lines has to scare the crap out of the Bush administration.

Luckily the ban does not include Iraqi internet cafes (which I'm surprised exist). Looks like it's a good time to own an Iraqi internet cafe. Except of course for the whole being in Iraq.

Things I Still Like Even Though I'll Be a Father Soon

1. Drinking
2. Tit jobs
3. The word 'godammit'
4. Unemployment
5. Guns n' Roses
6. Sleeping
7. Not cleaning the litter box
8. Internet porn
9. the Evil Dead trilogy
10. Tim Warner

Comic Movie Countdown

Rotten Tomatoes has posted a countdown of the best reviewed comic book movies. I've seen most of these plus a few that never got reviewed. You don't want to know where "Captain America" would have placed.

Comedy=Busy

It's been a busy weekend. We went to the Buffy Sing-a-long Friday with Bill and he wrote about it. Today we're shooting with Alex, Ed and Drucker. They're all fantastic to work with and make the process easy. How good are they? Well, here's Drucker at Comic Book Comics. Man, that was a good show.

Grindhouse

Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodiguez can do whatever they want, can't they?

I had time to kill before the show last night so Steve Klausner and I went to see "Grindhouse". We were very glad we didn't bring the wives. The violence in this, especially Rodriguez's "Planet Terror" is far and above anything I've seen outside of Troma.

The conceit here is that both films are homage to the 'b' splatter flicks of the 70's. In other words, the good old days when movies were shitty. Rodriguez and Tarantino have made something unique: a Sci-Fi original that plays in multiplexes.

Both films are a hell of a lot of fun, if anachronistic. With the bleached film look, 80's synthesizers and film scratches I assumed these would be period pieces. That is, until characters started text messaging each other.

Rodriguez really gets into it with over the top violence and characters in a very simple zombie movie. There's not much to tell here because Rodriguez does what he does perfectly. It's crazy, almost comical and built around a few major set pieces.

Tarantino's work is harder to decipher. He goes with the concept but basically makes a Tarantino short film. Well short for Tarantino which means feature length and a simpler plot. There are no twists in "Death Proof". We get the same story twice; once as a horror picture and once as an action picture. I've always said the only difference between action and horror is how the protagonist fights back. Tarantino proves this theory. Oh, and the characters talk. And talk and talk and talk. The 90's dialogue style is back in force. Thanks to Quentin Tarantino and Larry David I didn't write a plot until 2004.

As I watching these films, it made me realize something about the two biggest directors of the 90's: it's not the 90's anymore. The last decade has treated each director very differently. While Tarantino came on as the next Scorcese, his films have become increasingly indulgent and insular. "Jackie Brown" was fascinating but cryptic, "Kill Bill" was one movie too long and "Death Proof" doesn't get going for at least an hour. By refusing to cut his famous dialogue, Tarantino is in danger of marginalizing himself.

Rodriguez on the other hand became a cult icon with "Desperado". And since he's been under the radar, he's had more time to polish his craft with different genres. He's gone from being the man who made "From Dusk Till Dawn" to the man who made "Sin City". He's managed to become a true filmmaker on his own terms, while Tarantino has managed to remain Tarantino.

Fiefdom

I'm hosting an improv show tonight with Fiefdom. I know some of the guys in the group but I've never seen them live. Drucker says they're great so I have high expectations.

It's a daunting task to host an improv show. The audience isn't there to hear rehearsed material so I'm going to have to wing it. Should I do crowd work? Half written ideas? Try to sneak in my 'A' material? I have no clue.

I wonder if this is how improv guys feel all the time.

Fiefdom
11:00
Mo Pitkin's
34 Avenue A (Cross Street: Between 2nd Street and 3rd Street)
New York, NY 10009

Buddy Rich

"If you're not having fun out there, then fuck you!"

It took some doing, but I finally found the infamous Buddy Rich tapes online. Buddy was an incredible jazz drummer but he saved his greatest beatings for his band.

Jerry Seinfeld was obsessed with this tape and you can hear it quoted in several episodes of his sitcom (George telling moviegoers "I'm gonna show you what it's like!" or Frank Costanza translating Korean into "This guy is not my kind of guy"). I personally ripped off "I'm gonna show you what it's like" in "William Shatner on the Muppet Show". But now I've finally heard the original. I'm adding this to Orson Welles and Paul Anka in the holy trilogy of celebrity screaming.

There are four mp3's here

Equal Pay

Bill's talking about it on his blog today. I can't believe it still exists, especially since it's been 33 years since Batgirl spoke out about it.



I love this video for a number of reasons:

1. Apparantly Batman pays Batgirl. Less than Robin.
2. Batgirl is willing to let Batman and Robin die.
3. That's not Adam West.

Spider-Man 3

What was this movie about?

The first two films were phenomenal. They not only brought justice to one of the most beloved comic characters of all time but they made Sam Raimi an a list director. Raimi's talking about making a fourth film. It's easy to see why since he tried to make four films at once with this.

You get the feeling that the first two films wanted this to be about Harry. Raimi wanted a classic Ditko chracter (Sandman). And Marvel REALLY wanted Venom. They're all here, along with Gwen Stacy, Curt Connors and the Russian landlord who yells "rent!".

Unlike the Schumacher Batman films, which had so many characters there was no room for plot, this movie has so many plots there's no room for theme. Peter goes from confidence to arrogance but what does that have to do with Sandman? Why is Harry addressed, put away early and readdressed in the second act? If all the posters feature the black costume, why don't we see it for a full hour? And why is Venom in this for 15 minutes yet there's two dance numbers and three songs? There's no focus in this film. I'd say it was made by committee but it's so well crafted, I have to say it was made by distraction.

And yet it's worth watching. The action scenes blow the first two installments away. The effects of Sandman are convincing and fascinating. Venom is phenomenal. And the characters all still feel authentic.

I can't say I left disappointed but it certainly wasn't a great film. In the end it felt like watching a season of a tv show or reading a year of the comic. Everything here works, it just doesn't work together.

Pour Man's Comedy

Last night Meghan Hanley offered me a spot at the Pour House. Drucker and I got there at 10 and the place was jammed. There was a pub crawl happening so you could barely move in the place. Looked to be a fantastic crowd.

There was only one problem; they were too drunk to listen. Jokes would get a laugh halfway through the next setup. They would stare and sway while you were doing crowd work. A curtain separated the comics from the rest of the bar. Drunks would peek their heads in but not take a step into the show. It was like being in first class. Everyone wants to know what you're doing but no one dares become a part of it.

The p.a. cut through the rest of the bar. I told them I was the ghost of Abraham Lincoln and they should take off their tops. That got a drunken scream but didn't win them over.

Halfway through my set they all crawled out to the next bar. We did the rest of the show was done for two friends of Jimmy Q. Comics got closer and closer to them until they hovered over their seats.

And yet it was awesome. The energy was right and everyone had a great time. Even the dj thought we were funny. We went home at 1 a.m. feeling like we killed for two people.

And that is comedy.

New FF trailer

Spider-Man 3 opens tomorrow but Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer will follow in six weeks. And FOX just released a new trailer.

The teaser was phenomenal, simply showing a completed scene. This one is more traditional, with quick clips of the more expensive shots. Seeing more of the film, it appears the goofy shit is back. But the level of awesomeness is pumped way up.

Look for yourself.

Ricky Gervais and Christopher Guest

Apparantly these Ricky Gervais interviews are a series on the BBC. Here's a new one with Christopher Guest (Monica, clear out some time). This isn't the most informative but it's the most fun.

Part 1:



Part 2:



Part 3:



Part 4:



Part 5:

Best Show Ever!

With the baby getting closer, I'm going to be doing a lot less spots. Actually, I'm only doing the good ones. That's why I'm excited about tonight's show at Mo Pitkin's. Lara Yaz and Alex Grubard have a cool little room going in the Sadie's Lounge on Tuesdays and I'll be performing in tonight's show.

Best Show Ever
7:00
Mo Pitkin's
34 Avenue A (Cross Street: Between 2nd Street and 3rd Street)
New York, NY 10009

Comic Book Comics Post Wrap

Comic Book Comics went great. Thanks to everyone that came out (especially the people we didn't know). It was a little nervewracking buying our own mike, figuring out the lights and p.a. and hoping people would come but it was all worth it. Everyone killed. We'll do it again soon so you have no choice but to come.

Here's me:

JC CBC2
Uploaded by playcole

It's Tonight!

"I'm the Only Important One on That Stage"

Here's Paul Anka threatening his orchestra over their clothes. Maybe if he had this edge in his music, he'd be remembered today.

Comic Book Comics This Saturday!

All marketing aside, this is a big deal for us. We've been busting our ass to make this show great. We've paid for the room, booked the comics and run around the city hitting the comic stores. All that's left is for you to go.

It will be good.

Anniversary

Renee and I are still up in Niagra Falls. It's our third anniversary. Lately we've been so focused on our future we haven't given much thought to the past. But it's a good history. We met two weeks after y2k. We moved in together nine months before 9/11. We got engaged, married and pregnant during the Iraq war. As trying as times have been, we've been very lucky to go through it together. And make good times for ourselves.

Niagra Falls

I'm here right now. I'll talk to you later.

Ricky Gervais and Garry Shandling

Speaking of Shandling (three days ago), here's a 47 minute interview between him and Ricky Gervais. RG thought it awkward. I think it's not up to the level of his interview with Larry David, but it's still glorious.

If anything can get my dad to this blog, it's this.

What, Larry can't help?

Bono and the Edge are writing a Spider-Man musical.


In it, Spidey will fight the Lizard, the Rhino and Africa's foreign debt.

The Next Captain America

Yes Ed, you were right.

I stand corrected. Ed thought the Punisher killed Captain America. He didn't but this is much scarier.

This is the Theme to Garry's Show

Recently HBO gave a lifetime achievement award to Jerry Seinfeld with a special that included a panel of Robert Klein, Chris Rock and Garry Shandling. They give Jerry a lot of compliments but also talk about the process and the craft of stand-up in a way I've never heard outside of a club. I've watched it three times and showed it to any comic who's walked into my living room. It's so good that my dad watched it and called me an artist.

RG, Alex, Ed and I were discussing the special and the more we talked, the more we focused on Shandling. He's managed to go from a household name to a well kept secret. Both "The Larry Sanders Show" and "It's Garry Shandling's Show" were seminal looks at show business and, ten years later, incredibly original.

Suddenly Ed and I started singing this. I haven't stopped. It's the most brillant sitcom theme that will ever be written.

Family Guy

Last night I sat through an entire episode of "Family Guy". It was not unlike watching "The State".

Friday the 13th

Does it mean anything to anyone anymore? Other than the worst horror franchise of the 80's?

Friday is a day beloved by the working man. It means freedom and drunkenness. Casual and lazy. And 13 gets a bad rap. Buildings don't have a 13th floor. That is bullshit. When I was 13 life was great. I had G.I. Joe, Marvel comics AND I discovered girls. I had the world on a plate my friends. Don't screw with 13.

I want to hear the true story of Friday the 13th. When a guy's family was eaten by fireflies and he lost his mining job to Mino, the ore eating robot. When he drove the long way home and ended up in the reservoir. And the car's emissions made everyone's shower smell funny for a week. When the pope lost the church in a high stakes poker bet. I hear that story, maybe I'll be superstitious.

Kids in the Hall

Ed Murray has thrown down the gauntlet.

I don't like the State and Ed can't handle it. I tried many times but they don't impress me. They throw out a premise and repeat it for three minutes. The sketches don't develop. They don't build. And in 1994 they couldn't hold a candle to Kids in the Hall.

This show was a huge influence on me, premiering when I was in senior year of high school. I was devoted to Monty Python at the time but finally there was a show for my generation. I was hooked from the pilot to the final episode. I saw "Brain Candy" in a lonely theater. Renee and my first date was seeing them live at Town Hall.

Ed's got a bunch of "State" videos on his blog for me. This is my response. Just like Ed, I can't find my favorite sketches online but these are great.

Take that, Murray!

Play Cole Podcast: Clambake!

This time Bill Monroe, Mike Drucker and I tackle my favorite bad Elvis movie. Elvis plays a rich championship speedboat racer and chemist who switches places with a poor man to find a woman who will love him for himself. And he sings.

This movie had no commentary so Mike stepped up to the plate, playing director Arthur H. Nadel for the entire commentary. It was 4 in the morning and we were all high on Red Bull. That's my excuse.

Listen!

"Nobody times four can take away what happened times three."

Never let it be said RG Daniels does not suffer for his art.

RG's been doing his own web show "Sarcasting" for a few months now. But his latest experiment is a beautiful disaster.

Each Sunday for the last month he abused a different drug. The first week was pot, The second; Adderall, the third; Jack Daniels. He edited the results in a six minute piece that looks like someone's switching his settings from low to medium to high. It must be seen.

But first he will dance around like Groucho Marx to hip hop.

My Humps

I don't care that this already has 4 million hits. I can't stop watching it. I think my crush on Alanis Morrisette just came back with this video. That was a long ten years.

Easter

God's back.

That was scary.

Good Friday

Celebrating the day we killed God.

Nietzsche gets too much credit for telling us. So does Perry Farrel.

Sketches

Last night Ed, Renee and I went to Galapagos in Williamsburg. John Knefel was hosting "Funny Video Night" in the back room, a screening of several short films. It was eye opening. For years, I felt Play Cole was working in a vaccuum but here was a whole community making videos. And they were great. Well written, brilliantly performed and better lit than most of ours. They've been having shows at Rififi's and the PIT for awhile and I hope to see more.

If that wasn't enough, Gabe Pacheco was part of a live sketch show in the next room. Everything was written and the final sketch Gabe performed was brilliant. For a guy that loves sketch and hates improv, it was a gold mine.

Here's the two films Knefel's group Bare Hand Wolf Chokers Association showed last night. They're both short and both fantastic.

Todd Bridges

After a mix-up in the obituary column, Todd Bridges told the world last week that he’s still alive. The world replied, “Who?”

Comic Book Comics

We've been talking about this show for a long time but the last Lack o' Etiquette inspired us to take the plunge. This is the first show we've ever produced (unless you count the Play Cole screenings) and we want to make it great.

The idea came from conversations at the cafe. Many of us are geeks and we have a lot of jokes a mainstream audience won't get. So why not get a non mainstream audience? We'll be hitting the comic shops and message boards to promote this but the buzz is already strong. Should be fun.

Special thanks to Rebecca Lloyd for creating the poster. Now we have something to live up to.

Directing Robin Williams

In honor of April Fool's Day, Here's the newest Play Cole video. It was written by Mike Drucker and myself and that's Alex Grubard as the p.a.

We made this on the same day as "Ninja Comedy". I had planned on launching it sooner before "Star Trek: the Sitcom" became a monster. Watch, enjoy and share it with anyone you know.

New figures.com review

Here's another figures.com review. You may have forgotten about these. Truth is, I have a few backed up they haven't published yet. But I'm always working.

Check out Mongul from Mattel's DC Superheroes line!

Star Trek: the Sitcom update

When I uploaded Star Trek: the Sitcom last week I was hoping for maybe 500 hits. So far it's gotten almost 25,000. Never bet against borrowed interest.

At 5000 hits I was a genius. At 24,000, I'm a douchebag. The internet reviews have gotten harsh. All of a sudden there's a hype I'm not living up to. One viewer said I should be devoured by fire ants. I put a laugh track on three minutes of a Next Generation and I'm getting death threats.

Welcome to fame in the internet age. I was just listening to an interview with Jeph Loeb. He said he got the worst reviews of his life at the end of the Batman story he did with Jim Lee; Hush. They said he simply couldn't write. But then he checked the website. It got about 6000 hits. The book sold 400,000 copies. He figured that's an okay average.

Am I brilliant or a worthless human being? Watch it again and you tell me.

Renee

Today is her birthday. And she's way pregnant.

So be nice.

Marshall Rogers

When I was in the third grade, someone passed me an issue of Detective Comics during class. I was always nervous about getting into trouble so I just glanced and passed it on. The one page showed the Penguin in jail, struggling against the rust stained bars while Deadshot escapes from the next cell. All I knew of Batman was Adam West and Superfriends. This was dark, adult, frightening. I felt like I wasn't ready for it yet.

That was my first exposure to the modern Batman, and my first exposure to Marshall Rogers. His run on Detective Comics remains one of my all time favorites. That's why I'm really saddened to learn he passed away in Flushing.

Most tributes will focus on his Batman work and rightly so. But I also recall his relaunch of the Silver Surfer comic in the late 80's. The character had many tries at a full length series and this was the most successful. Rogers' art was a big reason why. His Surfer soared in three dimensions and moved like an actual surfer. Space seemed vast and beautiful under Rogers pencil, and full of possibilities. He will be missed.

Long Weekend

It's Monday and I'm exhausted. I did a toy run with Joe Franzem Saturday and a gig at the Side Street Grill last night. The both went well but the same as last time. So go back and look at those. I'm on five hours sleep.

This.

And this.

Larry 'Bud' Melman

Calvert DeForest passed away after a long illness.

When I was about 10, I discovered 'Late Night with David Letterman'. I didn't understand it but I loved it. And no one exemplified that early tone like Larry 'Bud' Melman. The writers would send him to the bus station or down the hall in a bear suit or just make announcements on the air. He was so not camera-ready that he was adorable.

Here he is at the bus station. There's no real bit here other than Larry doesn't know how to work a microphone. It's hilarious.

The Japanese Foreign Minister

I can't decide if this guy is offensive or hysterical. When your foreign minister is making blatantly racist remarks they might as well be as benign as this.

Then again Renee's host mother once said that Star Trek was a show "only children would watch". I'm not giving Japan a lot in the tact department.

To All My Friends on Line for "Last Comic Standing" Right Now

I don't envy you.

JLU

The final season of Justice League Unlimited comes out on dvd today. I'm gonna get one. Right now.

Bye.

Star Trek: the Sitcom

You give me some free time, this is what I'll make.

Enjoy!

St. Patrick's Day

Enjoy amatuer hour.

Gaffigan

Here's an article about Jim Gaffigan that's pretty informative. Turns out he worked for Ogilvy and Grey as a copywriter. Wow. We've shared the same stage and the same jobs. Next time he stops by I might actually be able to start a conversation with him.

Captain America and Colbert

Aw, dammit. There is nothing not to love about this.

Lack o' Etiquette Post Wrap

Just to let you know, that show went great. So great that Mike Drucker picked up the idea we dropped and are going forward. I'll tell you more later.

Everyone killed. I taped the whole thing and Ed and Tim have posted their sets on google video. Since it's my cinematography, I'm taking credit and posting it here.

Ed Murray:


Tim Warner:


Now go support live comedy you lazy cretins!

Revel in Failure

Rotten Tomatoes is listing its 100 worst reviewed movies. Most of them are recent. All of them are bad.

Richard Jeni

Richard Jeni was one of those comics who was coming up when I first noticed stand-up. At one point he seemed to be on a different show every night and I couldn't have been gladder. He had an easy comfortable style that I took to instantly. So it was a genuine shock to find he died over the weekend in an apparant suicide.

The thing that makes me saddest is the CNN headline, "Comedian Dead in Apparant Suicide." Comedian. You get five hour specials, your own sitcom, appearances in hit movies and you still can't get your name in your own obituary. Disrespectful.

Alex Grubard's found some great Jeni clips on his myspace blog.

Dream

Last night I had a dream.

I went to an open mike and asked the guy if there was still room to go on.

"Sure, but you're the last comic so you'll be in the 'grind down'."

"What's that?"

"We have a sketch group that needs to go on. So you go on at the other end of the stage. You both do your acts at the same time and whichever one we listen to wins."

Tim Warner walked up next to me. "Wow," he said. "I'll trade with you."


I woke up and couldn't believe it had been a dream. Knowing comedy, I assumed it would HAVE ACTUALLY HAPPENED.

Ron Moore

Like Battlestar Galactica? Bet you do. Like Star Trek? Bet you don't.

But here's an interview with Ronald D. Moore about both. He spent ten years as a Star Trek writer before recreating Galactica ias a bigger hit than it was originally. It's a huge article that gets into the politics of writers rooms, how deals disappear and how great it is when executives ignore your work.

Show Business

I'm freelancing at an agency again. Yesterday I was in my ACD's office and his itunes was running. Harry Connick Jr. was singing a slow version of "There's No Business Like Show Business". It was so slow I could focus on the lyrics:


The butcher, the baker, the grocer, the clerk
Are secretly unhappy men because
The butcher, the baker, the grocer, the clerk
Get paid for what they do but no applause.
They'd gladly bid their dreary jobs goodbye for anything theatrical and why?

There's no business like show business like no business I know
Everything about it is appealing, everything that traffic will allow
Nowhere could you get that happy feeling when you are stealing that extra bow

There's no people like show people, they smile when they are low
Even with a turkey that you know will fold, you may be stranded out in the cold
Still you wouldn't change it for a sack of gold, let's go on with the show

There's no business like show business and I tell you it's so
Traveling through the country is so thrilling, standing out in front on opening nights
Smiling as you watch the theater filling, and there's your billing out there in lights

There's no people like show people, they smile when they are low
Angels come from everywhere with lots of jack, and when you lose it, there's no attack
Where could you get money that you don't give back? Let's go on with the show

There's no business like show business like no business I know
You get word before the show has started that your favorite uncle died at dawn
Top of that, your pa and ma have parted, you're broken-hearted, but you go on

There's no people like show people, they smile when they are low
Yesterday they told you you would not go far, that night you open and there you are
Next day on your dressing room they've hung a star, let's go on with the show


Something stirred inside me. I didn't care about pharmaceutical websites. I didn't care about account reviews. I didn't even care about my day rate. I just wanted to put on a great show. I couldn't wait to get out and bark for "The World" that night.

Of course it was 17 degrees outside and the show was cancelled but it's still a nice story.

Captain America

If you want an expensive comic that comes out today ruined for you, go here. Or just talk to dfx.

Rap

CNN is asking "Has Rap Music Hit a Wall?" If it has, its because someone shot the driver. Expect seven tributes songs by April.

Ninja Comedy

Mike Drucker has been doing this bit for months so I thought it was time I shot it. I'm really happy with the way it came out.

Joker Pulls a Boner

Just read it.

Barking Last Night

EXT- STREET- NIGHT

I am barking.

ME
Stand-up comedy. Free tickets. 10 o' clock show.

Two teenagers dressed like Gns n' Roses are still popular pass by.

TEEN
10 o'clock dick.

ME
That's why you're dressed in black, sir. The inability to think of something clever.

TEEN
What?

ME
Further proof.

The teens flip me off.

MIKE DRUCKER
Enjoy your trust fund.

Buffy Midnight Screenings

As I mentioned before, I borrowed Monica's dvds of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and it became one of my favorite shows. But it wasn't until the musical episode, which came pretty late in the run, that I fell in love with it. Joss Whedon reportedly took six months off and taught himself guitar to write it. They blew the budget for the entire season on it. It ran ten minutes long. And they released a soundtrack weeks after it aired. Even among hardcore fans, it ranks as one of the best.

For years, people have petitioned to turn it into a stage musical but there's a major problem. One of the brilliant strokes of Joss Whedon's writing is that the musical episode mattered. It took the plot threads from earlier episodes and advanced them in unexpected ways and set up later stories. It's a perfect episode but not a complete story. Casual audiences couldn't "get it".

So hardcore fans have done the next best thing. They're having midnight screenings and sing-alongs. Much like "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" (which is a film that deserves its notoriety less) groups have gathered at the IFC to celebrate the show. I just wish the article told me the next time it was happening.

Writers

This year's Oscar broadcast was a lot less cheesy than most years (the absence of Billy Crystal will do that) but here was the coolest part. It just proves the adage of "write what you know". Most screenwriters will write about screenwriting.

Lack of Etiquette

The best show I'm not performing in. But I did take that picture.

Ed Murray, Tim Warner, & Lara Yaz
with Ensemble Studio Theatre present:

LACK OF ETIQUETTE III: NO ONE CARES

Aggressive, progressive, regressive comedy for intelligent citizens.

Featuring Jessica Kirson (The Tonight Show w/Jay Leno, Last Comic Standing)

Tom McCaffrey (Comedy Central's Premium Blend, Invite Them Up @ Rififi)

Hosted by Maddog Mattern (Howard Stern)

$10 cover, OPEN BAR!
SHALL I REPEAT THAT?!
$10 cover, OPEN BAR!

Saturday, March 3rd, 10pm
Ensemble Studio Theatre
549 W 52nd St, b/t 10th & 11th Ave

Also appearing: Jeff Sussman, Ed Murray (2006 Sal's Comedy Hole Laugh-Off Winner) Tim Warner (Comedynet) Lara Yaz (Lifetime Television)

COME, DRINK, AND LAUGH.

About Fucking Time

Comics Should Be Fun

I went to the NY Comicon yesterday and couldn't have had a worse time.

Last year's con was great. There was an excitement in the air. It had been years since the last convention in New York and it succeeded way beyond expectations.

This year they raised their expectations. With memories of last year in their heads, no one felt happy to see the fans. Sales were meeting expectations. New product looked exactly like last year's. Some of the exclusives were from last year. And everywhere I went, there was a palpable attitude. As I pulled myself through the crowds, I wanted to be anywhere else.

I left the con and went to the Parkside Lounge to catch a sketch show RG works on. As I entered the little room, it felt like coming home. My friends treated me like friends and new people treated me with respect. The show was fantastic. Here were people working much harder for much less than the big show at the Javits. But it mattered more. Because they cared.

Potty Mouths tonight!

The last show I hosted rocked. This one should be as good, and as free. I'm the MC again.

PottyMouths
in the Guero lounge @ Julep
Avenue A bet. 1 & 2 Streets
10 p.m.

Duncan Jay
Sue Ball
Dan St. Germain
Susannah Perlman
Becky Donahue
Mike Burns