The joke that almost got me kicked out of improv 101.

Years ago I used to have a website with some of my screenplays and sketches. I thought of reviving it here but the posts would be too long. Besides, I've got a series of short films that I just need to get hosted. You'll see them soon.

Eventually I want to write comedy for a living. I can get away with a joke in a headline now and then but it's not the same. Had I been born a generation earlier I would have made a great writer for the Muppet Show. Maybe someday Disney will revive it and see this blog. Ah, dreams.

Anyway, about four years ago I decided to study comedy seriously so I went straight to the Upright Citizens Brigade theater and applied for comedy writing and improv 1. Comedy writing went pretty well. Had a great teacher that I still see on Conan now and then. Improv was a little tougher. I was surrounded by funny actors. I don't want to be an actor (and when you see the short films you won't want it either). I just want to be a loud writer. I couldn't quite the hang of pretending there was a table to the left and having no idea what the sketch was until after you got offstage. My first time up was considered by the class to be a disaster but I thought it was the shortest sketch I ever wrote. It went like this:

(OPEN ON TWO CONVICTS BREAKING ROCKS ON A CHAIN GANG.)

GUY WHO WAS THE BEST AT IMPROV IN THE WHOLE CLASS
What are you in for?

ME
Breakin’ rocks.

At this point the teacher ran on stage waving his arms.