32 Conversations About Nothing

Here's an IM conversation Brian and I had the other day. It started to become an interesting blog entry then trailed off into blather about Happy Days. Just thought you'd like to witness the creative process.

Qner: Will I ever be a sir?
jonflclarke: No you never will
jonflclarke: You'll always be a guy
Qner: Guy Brian Kunath
Qner: I can live with that
jonflclarke: As in "Hey guy help me with this."
Qner: Better than being a Buddy.
Qner: As in "Hey buddy, you wanna get outta the way?"
jonflclarke: Buddy is a backhanded compliment
jonflclarke: Yeah
jonflclarke: Pal is good though
Qner: Pal is too often said in anger.
Qner: "Look here, pal!"
jonflclarke: Pal is neutral
jonflclarke: "Hey thanks pal."
Qner: Still belittling.
jonflclarke: It's what my uncle Jack would say to you. He's always in charge.
Qner: haha
jonflclarke: Friend sounds like a priest.
Qner: Or something a jittery old west bartender calls scary-looking strangers.
jonflclarke: If you call someone ace you fought in WWII
Qner: Ha
jonflclarke: There is no way to call someone slappy without them getting offended
Qner: True
Qner: Cracker jack
jonflclarke: If you call someone cracker jack, you have been dead for thirty years.
jonflclarke: If you call someone bucko, you are Ron Howard.
Qner: bucko = fuck head
Qner: The Happy Days euphemism chart.
Qner: Nerd = dirty cocksucker.
Qner: Happy Days is actually a filthy show if you know what everything means.
jonflclarke: Frisky=filthy
Qner: Piccallo = Whore
jonflclarke: haha
jonflclarke: I would have done Jenny Piccallo
Qner: Totally
jonflclarke: Actually she was the only one worth it on that show. For a hit show about teenagers there was a decided lack of hot girls on it.
Qner: True. I think it speaks to Garry Marshall's actual experience in the 50s.
jonflclarke: Something tells me he talked himself out of getting laid a lot.
Qner: hahaha
Qner: Had it in the bag and didn't know when to stop
jonflclarke: I used to be like that
Qner: Happy Days? They weren't all Happy.
jonflclarke: Like when Richie and Ralph joined the army? They were sad.
jonflclarke: Or when Fonzie realized rock n' roll was getting pushed aside for folk. He wasn't happy.
Qner: When Fonzie pretended to be visiting his family for Christmas and Richie found him eating canned franks and beans alone in his apartment.
jonflclarke: HAHA
jonflclarke: Did that actually happen?
Qner: Yup
jonflclarke: That is so sad
jonflclarke: Like John Candy in the train station
Qner: Yes
Qner: And in each case, they brought them home for a nice holiday meal
jonflclarke: Except they used heavy filters on Steve Martin's wife.
Qner: Yeah, what was up with that?
Qner: Like a Barbara Walters interview
jonflclarke: haha
Qner: Maybe she represented the dream of getting home, so they gave her a dreamlike hazy effect.
Qner: Or she was just really ugly.
jonflclarke: Maybe both.
jonflclarke: you want to post this conversation or should I?
Qner: You