The Return of Fetuso!

We had our 20 week sonogram yesterday. As you can see, we are the proud parents of a jack o' lantern.



I didn't realize when the doctor took an x ray of Renee's stomach that it wouldn't stop at the baby's skin. We could see it's entire skeleton, brain and heart beating. Four months in and my baby looks like the Evil Dead. I love Fetuso's smiley skull face.



Marshall says his babies can beat up my baby. But pictures of my baby can freak out his kids for years to come.

Comic Strip

Last night went great. I was the last to audition and got bumped twice, going on about 11. I was a little nervous but got through it much more easily than last time. I had practiced the set at RG's mike but somehow I still had time when I finished all my material. Luckily, I have more material.

I got even better feedback. Andy the MC was filling in for Starla and told me I looked like I belonged there. My jokes were well written and original and my stage presence was strong. While I'm not ready to pass yet, we both agreed it was a solid set. I got a VHS of it and as soon as I can transfer it to youtube I'll have it up here.

I Called It

Audioslave is dead. At least I got to see them.

Rogan v. Mencia

This is all over the internet and yet I feel like I should post it. Ed Murray has it on his blog but not enough of you go there.

If you're not a comic, this might seem like just a celebrity feud. It's way more important than that. Jokes take a LOT of work to get right and are the lifeblood of every comedian. That's all we have up there, our writing and our personality. There's no system in place to protect a comic's material so we have to rely on trust. Ed Murray and I once had a similar bit and we both dropped it (of course, the bit was terrible but the loyalty remains).

Mencia steals material. I've heard that since I started comedy. And listen to his argument. Joe Rogan recites facts, dates, names. He brings up witnesses. In the video he shows undeniable proof. Mencia sits there, not letting Rogan near the mike and repeats the phrase "whiny bitch". He stole from his opener. That's disgusting. There's no way this guy could avoid Mencia hearing his material. Mencia violated the small amount of trust he was given.

The saddest part of the story is Rogan is the one that's suffered. He lost his agent and was banned from the Comedy Store for speaking up. Business is siding with Carlos Mencia. Rogan has had three tv shows, two long running on NBC. Mencia has one basic cable show but it's hot now. Never has the cliche of 'yesterday's news' seemed so prevalent.

The most telling thing Rogan says on the video is, "How many comics are your friends? Nobody. Everybody hates you." I quit comedy for five years because I didn't make close enough friends. And I value every friend I've made in comedy in the last year. They're all that get me through the barking, the cancelled shows and the bad audiences. There's no money in the world that could convince me to trade places with Mencia.

Ed has a great article on other joke stealers linked at his site. He deserves the hits for that one.

Last Night

I'm hosting the 10:00 show. Good crowd. Aaron taps me on the shoulder. "We're gonna put up Jim Gaffigan next."

No problem. I go outside. "Hey Jim."

"Woah. You're like the Ron Silver of comedy."

I am fine with this.

"How international is the audience?"

"We got some Australians, Canadians, Ohio, Washington and Chicago."

Gaffigan thinks for a minute. "You know what? I'm good." He leaves.

That's a headliner.

Valentine's Day in 6 Inches of Snow

Renee stayed home and kicked me out of my office.
I lost a freelance gig for no real reason.
I had to trudge through seven blocks of snowdrifts with my pregnant wife to the restaurant.
And it was still the best Valentine's Day we ever had.
Thanks, Renee.

Jon at the Comic Strip!

I perform a lot now. So much that some of you have said, "I'll come see the next show that's important to your career."

This is that show.

I'm auditioning at Comic Strip Live this Monday, the 19th. If I do well enough, I can perform there every week. How do I do well? It's all about laughs. The club counts the laughs and the frequency I get and decides if I'm good enough to come back.

So come to the show and laugh at me.

I've got free tickets for anyone who wants them. And you're guaranteed to see a ton of great headliners. And Strauss.

Comic Strip Live
1568 2nd Avenue
Btwn 81st & 82nd St.
NYC, 10028
2/19/06
8:30 p.m.

Evil Dead: the Musical

For the last six months, I'd been planning on seeing this. Luckily Alex Grubard and Mike Drucker invited me to see it at the end of February. We got tickets for the 26th.

Saturday I got a myspace bulletin saying the show would be closing on February 17th. I ran over to the box office, exchanged our tickets and we went last night.

It was worth the aggravation. The show is hilarious and infused with energy. The songs are funny but it's the live staging that makes the musical magic. Ryan Ward plays Ash with just the right amount of Bruce Campbell.

It helps to have seen the movies and it helps more to have seen them a lot. The crowd went beserk with every catch phrase (most from 'Army of Darkness'). And there's blood. Ludicrous amounts of blood. You could see stagehands mopping it up during intermission.

I'm really surprised the show's closing. It first premiered at the Just For Laughs festival in 2003 and has been running consistently since. It's gotten great reviews. The room I saw it in was packed. They just recorded a soundtrack album. I don't know what else it needs to become a hit, except more audiences. If you want to see it, go this week. Click the banner above. Go. I mean it.

You still here?

Toy Fair 2007

I got to stop by Diamond's selection yesterday and took a lot of pictures. Unfortunately, I had to promise not to post any. So if you're interested in what's coming out this year, you can go here. Or here. Or here.

Renee came with me after shopping for maternity clothes and baby furniture. It made me realize Toy Fair is not supposed to be for me. It was originally for people like her; moms. They do most of the decision making when it comes to kids' purchases.

But my generation changed all that. We never stopped buying video games, comic books or action figures. And those industries had to grow up with us. Most industries complain about the adult collector but they never ignore us.

I Don't Wanna Grow Up

Not only is this one of my favorite videos ever, but looking back at this week's posts, it seems oddly appropriate.

Nobody Tells This Wookie What To Do

I rely on Walker for all my Chewbacca news, like this story about a man in a Chewie suit arrested for head butting people outside Grauman's Theater.

New Review

Now that Renee's pregnant, she really likes cute things. Luckily, Hasbro made superheroes cute. We had to have them and I had to review them.

Read my next figures.com review here.

Joss Whedon NOT Making "Wonder Woman"

He was. He stopped. He says so himself.

Super Bowl

I know less about football than anyone in the world but last night was good. When the Bears scored on the kickoff, the energy was charged. No one was taking their time to size up the other team. They were just going to go at it. The rain also squashed most passes and strategy so guys just slammed into one another. That I can understand.

RG, Tim Warner and Mike Drucker came up at the last minute. We were supposed to work on comedy but it never happened. Instead, Renee cooked too much and we spent more time playing Guitar Hero II than watching the game.



I blame that for the lack of work. But man was it fun.

As for commercials, they were pretty lackluster. I've seen enough Bud ads to last me until summer. And the two ads from college students were the same old tired ideas. I just saw a wrap up on the news and I'm really pissed they didn't mention the best one.



Hilarious in so many ways and best of all, a company I'd never heard of before. That's good advertising.

RG posted about last night on his blog and he actually remembers the game.

The Goddamn Weather

Sunday night I filled in at "The World". I went out barking for an hour. 28 degrees and snowing. Show cancelled.

Tuesday night I went to host at "The World". I went out barking for an hour. 28 degrees and snowing. Show cancelled.

Last night I went to host at "The World". I went out barking for an hour. 30 degrees and raining. Show cancelled.

Everybody tells me this is the dead time of the year and things pick up by Valentine's Day. It still puts comics in a bad mood. I haven't had a real show in a week.

When people ask me what I do, I say "I'm a comedian." Lately I feel like when people ask me what I do, I should say, "Nothin."

The Weather

Two stories today:

1. The groundhog says early spring.

2. Global warming is getting worse.

Same story really.

Aqua Teens Cause Bomb Scare

This story proves that the post 911 government is way too uptight. And that advertising guys are douchebags.

Is Audioslave Dead?

As I've mentioned time and again, I love Audioslave. And I'm starting to worry.

The band says there's nothing wrong. But look at the facts. Their third album "Revelations" was their weakest. On its release, Chris Cornell announced he would work on a new solo album. And there would be no tour, even though their last was one of the best concerts I'd seen.

Now there comes word that Rage Against the Machine will be reuniting for the Coachella festival. Seeing as Audioslave was created after Zach De La Roche quit, his agreeing to rejoin them makes Cornell's role obsolete.

Most Rage fans will be rejoicing (I'm sure Tim Warner's happy) but I'm disappointed. Audioslave still has so much potential as a band and they have yet to reach it. Rage was a potent force on their first album and remained so through their career. They've said all they've needed to say.

Then again, we got two Black Sabbath tours in the 90's and no new studio album. All we got was "The Osbournes". Maybe I'm worried over nothing.

Extreme Maggie

I first saw Maggie Faris at a bringer show at the NY Comedy Club. She was so good I figured she was a headliner. We've been working together at "The World" for a while now and she's still that good.

Maggie does goofy things, whether it's her crowd work, barking or that hat. She also has a website dedicated to her doing goofy things. You can see them at Extrememaggie.com

I Got A Job

And like everything else these days, it's a labor of love. I started reviewing action figures for figures.com and my first review is live now. Of course it was twelve figures at once. Nothing like starting slow.

Read my review of Marvel Legends 15!

David Bowie on "Extras"

"Extras" is back and it's a very different show from the first season. The first episode was interesting but the second went beyond anything in the series before. It's been a week since this aired and everyone who's seen it is singing it. Proabably the funniest thing you'll see on tv this year.

Top 10 Stand-Up DVDs

IGN posted it. Drucker wrote it. And I agree with it.

This is it.

Windows in the Skies

Here's one of the new U2 songs you can't buy on itunes. It's a decent song but a marvelous video. Just look how the editing gets a perfect lip sync out of archival footage.

Oscar nominations

They're in.And I have the same reaction I have every year.

I love it. I love the Oscars and yet I never see the movies. I don't typically go for the same movies that the Academy Awards do, namely historical pics and tearjerkers.

So I always root for the underdog; the few movies I've actually seen. The year "Return of the King" won everything was the year for me. That's why I'm delighted "LIttle Miss Sunshine" got the nod. As a small, quirky comedy this is beyond expectation. And beyond any hope of winning.

I'm also throwing my vote in for "Pan's Labryinth" and "Sands of Iwo Jima". Not because I've seen them, but because I've loved other films from these directors.

God bless the uninformed vote.

Special Free Show This Thursday!

My buddy RG Daniels has been running a show on the Lower East Side (where the cool shows are) called PottyMouths. The next one is this Thursday Januray 25 and he's asked me to host it.

The lineup includes:

Tim Warner
Jordan Ferber
Tracie Jayne
Ed Murray
Elon James White
Craig Hillelson


It all happens downstairs at Julep, Avenue A bet. 1 & 2 Streets. 10 p.m. Oh yeah and it's free.

The Aristocrats

Just stayed up until 2 a.m. watching it on HBO. Because I had to.

I haven't seen it since it was in the theater almost two years ago. It's a very different movie for me now.

What I Love About Comedy

You bark in the snow and get no one in. You host the 8:30 show and the crowd never warms up. You wait until 2 in the morning to get up again and by then you're so tired you don't know if you can speak.

But you have such a great set you're up until 5 talking comedy in a diner with Pat Dixon, Eric I, Mike Drucker and Alex Grubard.

That is living the dream.

The 6 Most Annoying Things Kids Say

And I'm going to have to hear all of them. Seven thousand times.

TV Guide 50 Best Shows of All Time

This is four years old but I doubt many have changed since then. Some interesting points:

-Buffy is included
-The Next Generation is the only Star Trek Show included.
-I would have traded Bewitched for Sgt. Bilko
-Looks like only American shows were eligible
-I have good taste

1. Seinfeld (NBC)
2. I Love Lucy (CBS)
3. The Honeymooners (CBS)
4. All in the Family (CBS)
5. The Sopranos (HBO)
6. 60 Minutes (CBS)
7. Late Show with David Letterman (CBS)
8. The Simpsons (Fox)
9. The Andy Griffith Show (CBS)
10. Saturday Night Live (NBC)
11. The Mary Tyler Moore Show (CBS)
12. The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson (NBC)
13. The Dick Van Dyke Show (CBS)
14. Hill Street Blues (NBC)
15. The Ed Sullivan Show (CBS)
16. The Carol Burnett Show (CBS)
17. Today (NBC)
18. Cheers (NBC)
19. thirtysomething (ABC)
20. St. Elsewhere (NBC)
21. Friends (NBC)
22. ER (NBC)
23. Nightline (ABC)
24. Law & Order (NBC)
25. M+A+S+H (CBS)
26. The Twilight Zone (CBS)
27. Sesame Street (PBS)
28. The Cosby Show (NBC)
29. Donahue (syndicated)
30. Your Show of Shows (NBC)
31. The Defenders (CBS)
32. An American Family (PBS)
33. Playhouse 90 (CBS)
34. Frasier (NBC)
35. Roseanne (ABC)
36. The Fugitive (ABC)
37. The X-Files (Fox)
38. The Larry Sanders Show (HBO)
39. The Rockford Files (NBC)
40. Gunsmoke (CBS)
41. Buffy the Vampire Slayer (WB/UPN)
42. Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In (NBC)
43. Bonanza (NBC)
44. The Bob Newhart Show (CBS)
45. Twin Peaks (ABC)
46. Star Trek: The Next Generation (syndicated)
47. Rocky and His Friends (ABC)
48. Taxi (ABC/NBC)
49. The Oprah Winfrey Show (syndicated)
50. Bewitched (ABC)

Wikipedia has more info.

Gwyneth Paltrow in "Iron Man"

"Her representatives let us know that she wanted to do a movie like this," said Kevin Feige, Marvel's president of production. "A few phone calls later from all parties involved, and over the weekend it happened."

That's the way to do it, Gwyneth. No bullshit about how you love the character and want to help bring something real to the fans. Nope, just say, "I heard these movies are making a lot of money and people aren't talking about me enough lately."

My favorite part of the article are the bullet points on top:

• Gwyneth Paltrow joining "Iron Man" cast
• Movie to star Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark
• Iron Man is popular Marvel Comics character

They get dumber as they go on. The fourth bullet should be "movies are a popular form of entertainment".

You can read the article here but it doesn't really say anything else.

Buffy

I just finished all seven seasons of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and it is possibly the best written sci fi show ever broadcast.

Dammit.

I wanted to hate it. I did hate it. I spent a decade hating it. There was no way it could be as gripping or groundbreaking as "The X Files" which ran against it. It was too WB. Too teeny. Too angsty. Too soapy. I didn't care how many of my friends praised it, I was never going to watch it.

But something funny happened a year ago. I watched the dvds of "Firefly" and was one of the 34 people who saw "Serenity" in the theater. And I loved it. So I searched out Joss Whedon's run on "Astonishing X-Men". I loved that too. Then I recalled he wrote the screenplay for "Toy Story". Everybody loves that. Maybe Buffy was worth suffering through Sarah Michelle Gellar.

144 episodes later I still don't like her. But I love the show for two reasons. The first is why I like every Joss Whedon project; the quirky humor, the deep characters and plots with unexpected twists all over the place. But the second reason may be pure luck.

When a show runs seven seasons, it has to reinvent itself at least once. "Star Trek: the Next Generation" and "Deep Space Nine" did it well. "X Files" did it badly. But no one did it better than "Buffy". The show was running smoothly as a high school soap parody. But by the end of season three, the characters graduated. Worse, two of the core cast left for the spin-off "Angel". Buffy's next season at first dealt with college but dropped the thread for a more adult approach. What if the characters had to suddenly grow up? What would happen?

And that's the genius. Whenever the show took a risk, it lived with it. Unlike other shows which took a "reset button", "Buffy" grew with every plot twist. Ludicrous ideas were given logical weight. Characters who came in for one episode became cast members. Villains became heroes. Comic relief became tragedy. And it all worked. It didn't happen on "Angel". It may never happen on tv again. By the final episode, I needed to own the series.

But I still like "Firefly" a little more.

Another Play Cole Podcast!

This time Bill Monroe, Mike Drucker and Jon Clarke watch the worst movie ever made. No, not Plan 9 From Outer Space. That's actually fun to watch. It's the epic Batman and Robin!

This one almost beat us. Find out how.

Dana Gould clip

There is not nearly enough Dana Gould stuff out there. One album, one HBO half hour, a bunch of Simpsons episodes, that's it. Luckily youtube is throwing up really horrible copies of brilliant stuff like this.

Jackson SERIOUSLY not making "The Hobbit".

Remember that news story I told you about a month or so ago? It just got worse.

Comedy is a Bipolar Bitch.

It got cold real fast this week so audiences dried up. We had to cancel the 8:00 both nights. That is the only similarity between the shows Monday and Tuesday.

Monday night I hosted the 10:00. It couldn't have gone better. The auidience was warm, primed to laugh and loved everybody. I did about three jokes the entire show. My crowd work killed. I got a laugh between every single comic. Moody McCarthy asked if he could use an off hand comment I made while bringing him up. Pat Dixon detsroyed the room and burned down what was left. At the end of the show a woman came up on stage to tell me how much she loved the show. It was a night anyone could have videotaped and sent out.

Last night was not that. The crowd only liked dick and racist jokes. I watched Lara and Alex struggle until they pulled out their dirty material. All my sex material consists of women that didn't want to date me and getting my wife pregnant. Andrew stopped by. He hasn't seen my act in six months. Last night he watched it fail. The crowd hated me. By the middle of my set, I started to hate them too. I didn't throw my set but I'm sure my frustration showed. After the check two women walked out and Alex and me awkward looks. I left before I had to see any of those people again.

Ed and Tim wrote a song about comedy called "No One Cares". It's absolutely true. No one in that crowd cared how well I did the night before. They don't care how well I do next time. Every time you get up on stage, you're starting from scratch.

Invicible Iron Man

Since last year's Ultimate Avengers, more and more superhero properties have been going straight to dvd with animated films. And less and less of them have been disposable. On January 23, Lion's Gate will release The Invincible Iron Man, the first feature for Tony Stark and a great primer for the Robert Downey Jr. live action film in 2008.

I've always been an Iron Man fan. I love technology. I love superheroes who create themselves without the use of superhuman powers. And I like the idea that even in the heart of danger, he's protected. While it doesn't look quite as good as Hellboy: Blood and Iron, I'm definitely picking this up.

Check out the trailer!

Hellboy: Blood and Iron

Speaking of comics, here's the trailer for the second animated Hellboy movie. I caught the first on Cartoon Network and liked it well enough. This one looks better.



Learn more at the official blog.

Masters of American Comics

Renee and I went to the Jewish Museum to see the Masters of American Comics exhibit yesterday. The museum is sharing the exhibit with the Newark Museum so we weren't able to see the original pieces by Charles Shulz or Milton Caniff but what was there was amazing.

The exhibit is spread across four rooms and laid out in a strange way. When you enter you get an entire room of Chris Ware's Jimmy Corrigan pages. A fun imaginiative comic but hardly an opener. The next room fares much better with Golden Age Superman and Batman pages, as well as a few Kirby Captain Americas. The only non artwork exhibits are here as well; a script page from an early Detective Comics and Superman creator Jerry Seigel's typewriter.

After a corridor of Harvey Kurtzman Mad covers and Robert Crumb pages, we got to the final room. They had saved the best for last. This gallery is devoted soley to later Jack Kirby and Will Eisner. You get close up to original artwork from Fantastic Four, Thor, Silver Surfer and Captain America as well as later works like New Gods, Kamandi and Devil Dinosaur. The Will Eisner half was mainly devoted to The Spirit but Eisner's constant innvovation made every piece different.

If you're any kind of comic fan, you need to go before it closes January 28. And go on Saturday cause it's free. See what they got!

U2

I'm a comedian because there already is a Bono.

We rented U218: The Videos the other night and it's bringing back a flood of memories. I've been into them since I stole my sister's copy of The Joshua Tree in high school.

The only problem with the dvd is it's not complete. The track listing sticks pretty closely to the new greatest hits cd, which itself skips a few important singles. Sure, "One" is there three times (buffalos and sunflowers included) but not this video for "The Fly". I remember Walker and I driving through Brooklyn when this premiered on the radio. We were dumbfounded. "This is U2?" No delayed guitars, no lyrics about Jesus and a disco beat. We didn't know it then but it was a seminal moment for the band.



Walker and I were more used to the wanting-to-be-cowboys phase of the band which ended with "Rattle and Hum". Today this album is overlooked but at the time it was enormous. The dvd only gives us "Desire" and skips the great "Angel of Harlem". You couldn't escape this video in the winter of 1988 but now you can barely find it on youtube.



If you want to see U2 at their most earnest, you need to go to "The Unforgettable Fire". Their only hit at the time "Pride (In the Name of Love) but I forgot they even did a video for the title track. According to the dvd, so did the band.



The less said about "Zooropa" and "Pop" the better. But they could have included the only decent song from that era "Stay (Faraway So Close)".



"Staring at the Sun" by the band's own admission, is almost a great song. At the very least it inspired me to write one of my own best songs.


The rest of those records proved the four of them had lost their minds. But I wouldn't mind seeing "Discoteque" again for pure camp value.


And then there's "Numb".


Maybe some videos are better left unseen.

Police reunion?

Looks like they're following the cardinal rule of reunions: wait for the last solo career to die.

I'll put it this way: Sting just released an album of lute music.

Read more.

Saddam video

So we killed Saddam Hussein the other day.

Now the government is in an uproar because a security guard took a video with his cel phone. I can't believe they're shocked. We live in an age where video is as easy to make as a phone call. Literally. There's video of everything. Ten years ago. Michael Richards would have been a rumor passed around in clubs. Today it's the lead story on the evening news.

And honestly, can you blame the guy for taping it? Cmon, it was built as the most dramatic story in the last five years. The Bush administration worked hard to make us hate Saddam all over again. We tore down his statue. We pulled him out a hole in the ground. We hissed as he cursed and gnashed his teeth on trial. And we're told we're not allowed to see the hanging? Guys, don't sell us a story if you're not prepared to show Act 3. That's screenwriting 101.

I'm surprised it's not the front page of YouTube.

The 10 Worst Superheroes

Bryan Murphy just sent me this. I can't believe there was no room for Speedball.

2006 is over.

I don't know about you, but I really needed this year.

Last year I was just glad to see 2005 go. It ended a rough time which took me from a job I liked to a job I hated. It was the same job. I was also in a band more interested in spinning its wheels than making progress. My only real creative outlet was this blog.

The last 365 days changed everything. I took a comedy writing class which taught me I have the ability to achieve my dreams but I had to sacrifice. Once I was laid off from advertising the path became clear.

I started doing stand-up. First an open mike every two weeks. Then a bringer show every month. By the summer I was performing five shows a week. I've done 116 this year and I have seven more booked. I've done road gigs, pitched to networks and appeared on tv. I saw some of the biggest names in the smallest rooms. Most of my friends are professional comics and a few have lived with me.

The only disappointment was in entertainment. Movies and television weren't much to speak of. I guess there was more to do than to see.

Bill and I went to Vegas. Renee and I traveled halfway around the world to Japan. We survived a week long blackout. Now we're going to be parents. In 2007, nothing will be the same.

Fantastic Four 2 trailer

Yes, I know the first movie wasn't all that good. It spent two hours giving you cool moments followed by the cheesiest garbage you've ever seen.

But watch this. The Silver Surfer fights Human Torch. That's it. Not a flash of clips, not a bunch of iconic stills, just one fight. And based on this, I'm saying "Fantastic Four 2: Rise of the Silver Surfer" will be good. This and because Brian Posehn is playing the minister at Reed and Sue's wedding.

Late

I'm supposed to be in darkest Jersey now picking up Bill. I wonder if he knows that?

Lotsa Guys Are Dead

They say it comes in threes. Or maybe we just stop counting.

Gerald Ford passed away yesterday. I'm not political but I liked Ford. At a time when the country was getting more intense, he had a laid back way about him. He didn't put on airs because, like most vice presidents who get the promotion, he didn't expect to be there. He did the best he could in the time he had and left with grace, clumsy jokes aside.

James Brown died on Christmas. I was introduced to James Brown like the rest of my generation; through Eddie Murphy. Like every great impression, it made me laugh first and research second. It's said Brown created hip-hop, supplying artists with loops for a solid decade. Listen to his albums and you'll see why.

And in the quietest news, Joe Barbera passed away last week. In the 1950's Joe took the money he and Bill Hanna made creating Tom and Jerry and opened their own studio. The cartoons they created were decidedly low budget but their characters became icons. The Flintstones. The Jetsons. Yogi Bear. Huckleberry Hound. Quick Draw McGraw. Scooby Doo. This was a studio that for twenty years could do no wrong. I loved how they treated Marvel and DC's characters with Superfriends and Fantastic Four. And as a Bilko fan, I have a special place in my heart for Top Cat.

All three will be missed.

Christmas

And this is why South Park went back on TiVo.

Improv Olympic

On the suggestion of Mike Brumm, we went to ImprovOlympic last night. They call themselves the iO now , but the NY Improv calls itself the Broadway Comedy Club so who am I to judge?

I haven't seen an Improv show in a while and this was a great place to come back to the form. The cast I saw at "Whirled News Tonight" was positive, energetic, professional and full of great ideas within scenes. Because of the nature of improv, you never know if you're going to see a good show. Last night I saw a great one.

I forgot how theater everything is at improv. They're not focusing on laughs per minute or what the crowd is like that night. They don't have to. They live in the moment and in the scene. It's as different from stand-up as techno is to folk music. I still love the sketch form, though.

Here

And got a signal. Kinda. It goes out every five minutes so I'll be succinct.

Flight was uneventful. Sets were good last night. Iron Man is an underrated superhero.

Bye.

Taking Off

Renee and I are flying out to Chicago for Christmas. Her parents have moved since I last visited so we'll see what the wireless situation is there (the old place had a signal on two windowsills).

I'll post as best I can but Merry Christmas if I don't see you. Here's my new favorite xmas carol from Invader Zim. If you've never heard of this show, we should have a long discussion about its genius.

Seinfeld

I'm watching Jerry Seinfeld's first HBO special "Stand Up Confidential". It's never been released on dvd so I'm watching a blurry VHS copy (thanks Alex!) It blends stand-up and sketch and features Larry Miller and Joel Hodgson. And it's not great.

Thank God for that. I'm sick of watching talented comedians succeeding. I've had it with people being better than me. I want to see good not great. I want to see the struggle. I want to be reminded it takes a very long time to gain stature. That's inspiring. Nobody's great right out of the box and that's the reason to keep fighting.

Happy Holidays from Play Cole!

I'm Time Magazine's Person of the Year!

See? It says so.



I'm overwhelmed. Yes, it's been quite a year but I didn't think I deserved this honor. Of course, I'm modest. And you won't see me bragging about it. Except for right now.

Hooray for me!

Marvel Legends Addendum: Variants

Joe Franzem just gave me all the variants for the final series of Marvel Legends. This is a big deal.


While it wasn't easy to collect every figure (especially when the case rations went nuts) completists have it even harder. That's because Toy Biz also added variants in each series; figures that are slightly different and not even packed in every case.



Sometimes it's a different paint job.




Sometimes it's a change of hairstyle.







Sometimes they're unmasked versions.





And sometimes they're new characters.






I have barely a third of the variants produced. I may get more but I still consider Marvel Legends finished.

Marvel Legends 5: Buyout

I worked on IBM for four years. They weren't known for their desktops and laptops and it was my job to get the word out. I wrote a lot of ads and the division became so successful IBM sold it off to another company (starting a series of events that would lead to the end of my advertising career).



That's what happened to Marvel Legends. The build a figure gimmick performed astonishingly and, coupled with the superior articulation that launched the line, earned the notice of all the major toy companies. Hasbro got very interested.



Mattel had bought the DC license in 2003 so it was only a matter of time before Hasbro wanted to compete. Although G.I.Joe and Star Wars had been selling well for them, Mattel was still the bigger company. And with Marvel Legends the hottest line in the action figure category, Hasbro went right for it.



The announcement went out after Toy Fair. Hasbro promised to keep the Marvel Legends line going and showed pictures at the San Diego ComiCon. They were underwhelming to say the least. Reduced articulation, simpler sculpts and paint, no comic in the package and a raised price. However long Hasbro runs their line, it won't be Marvel Legends.



And that's why this is goodbye. Marvel Legends came along at a time I thought I was done with collecting. Four years later, I have 175 of them. Never saw that coming but man, am I sorry to see it go.

Marvel Legends 4: Build a Figure

As Marvel Legends grew, it became apparant the line could cover the entire Marvel Universe. But what about the larger characters?



Used to be action figures were the entry level for a toy line. The real money was to be made with vehicles and playsets (just look at Star Wars or G.I. Joe). But in the post Wal-Mart age, there's just no room for them on the shelves. Toy Biz learned this when they announced a new large size line of Marvel Legends. Retailers refused and hopes for characters like Galactus and Sentinels faded.




But Toy Biz had a flash of inspiration. What if the large character was split into pieces and each piece was included with a figure? They could drop the detailed base and keep the price point the same. As long as customers bought every figure, they would get an extra deluxe character.



It worked. It really worked. The entire series 9, which now included Galactus, flew off shelves. Sales doubled. And since collectors needed everyone in the line, figures were evenly packed in the case. In fact, Marvel Legends now sold so well, retailers ordered a new line called Marvel Icons. Marvel Icons were deluxe large size figures.

Tomorrow: nerdy nerdy Marvel Legends week comes to a close. And so does the line.

Marvel legends 3: Case Ratios

Marvel Legends was moving along well for two years. Each series gained sales, popularity and characters. Fan favorites like Nick Fury and Elektra were making appearances. Collectors were lining outside Toys R' Us every day at opening for first pick.


Toy Biz even added a second line for Spider-Man, tossing his complete rogues gallery into the mix. But there was an ugly side. An ugly side called case ratios.



When a toy company releases a wave of figures, they know Apocalypse won't sell as well as Wolverine. So, a case of 12 figures ships, there should be more Wolverines than Apocalypses. Simple, right?


The problem comes in the guesswork. And by the sixth and seventh series, Toy Biz guessed wrong. Cases were shipping with four Wolverines but only one Phoenix and Deadpool. Suddenly half the series was treated as rare, expensive figures. Fights broke out in toy stores.


The next series was no better. Apocalypse, Hawkeye and Vision all major characters were shipped one per case while the pegs were clogged with yet another Wolverine. And fans were ready to give up.


Tomorrow: A new idea that not only saves the line but pushes it into a whole new dimension.

Marvel Legends 2: From Cult to Classic

When the first wave of Marvel Legends appeared, fans were elated but cautious. In a shrinking market, how long could this line expect to last?



Toy Biz was pragmatic themselves. The first two waves were loaded with heavy hitters from Captain America to the Thing. Spider-Man and the X-Men, both well covered throughout the 90's were absent.



Toy Biz intended Marvel Legends to be collectors only. Instead of action features and wacky accessories, figures came with comic book reprints and detailed bases. But the series proved popular with both collectors and kids. So, by series 3, Wolverine and Magneto appeared. The line threatened to become the only way to collect Marvel figures, and almost impossible to find.



Tomorrow: Marvel Legends almost kills itself.

Goodbye Marvel Legends

It's Christmas so let's talk toys.

The 90's were over. That decade was the biggest for action figures. In 1990 I was starting college and more interested in guitars than superheroes. I only bought a couple of figures from Tim Burton's Batman movie. The company that produced them was a little start-up named Toy Biz and the next year they shifted to Marvel, rolling out a line of unimpressive superheroes. Walker and I picked those up almost casually.

Then two things happened. Toy Biz created an X-Men line (the first in history) and the X-Men cartoon premiered on FOX. Suddenly the company exploded. Within five years there would be lines based on Spider-Man, the Fantastic Four, Hulk, Iron Man, even Ghost Rider. Hundreds of characters I dreamed about owning as a kid were on the pegs for five bucks.

Other companies followed suit. DC widened their character selection with animated series figures from the Bruce Timm shows. Todd McFarlane started his own company to release figures of Image Comics heroes. Playmates launched Star Trek figures at the height of the franchise. And Kenner brought back Star Wars. By the end of the decade, I was not only a full time collector but I was working at Art Asylum, helping create toys myself.

But it all ended. Toy Biz shifted to wrestling figures. McFarlane made KISS and Metallica figures. And Star Wars focused on Episode I. Things dried up so fast I went from working at Art Asylum to working in a museum.

Then came Marvel Legends.

It was a strange experiment. Sculpting 6 inch figures with over 40 joints. Suddenly Iron Man, Hulk and Captain America were the most poseable figures anyone had ever seen. Even Japan didn't have toys this well engineered. For the next four years, everything would change.

More tomorrow.

Inside the Comedy Mind

Your friends are booked on the early show. You are booked on the late show. Their show has 50 people in the audience. Your show gets cancelled.

Somehow this makes you less of a person than them.

Both Iron Mans

Yesterday's post was gigantic. To give you time to finish it here's some more action figure animation. There are currently 203 videos that use this idea but this is the only one that uses Marvel Legends figures. Considering these figures have more than 40 joints, I don't know why there aren't more out there.

UPDATE: I didn't make this, Dave. Thanks for the compliment though.

Comedy Cellar

We decided to do some research. Ed Murray, Alex Grubard, Mike Drucker, Tim Warner and I took the night off and went to see every comic at the Comedy Cellar, five hours of stand-up. We had no idea what we were in for.

We got there early enough to see the end of their open mic. I hadn't been to a mic in a long time. Seeing people get up for the first time, not yet having the skills, reminded me of how far I'd come. The rest of the night would remind me how far I need to go.

Marina Franklin took the stage as MC and showed poise, grace and inflappability. I was an immediate fan. The mic didn't even work and she smoothly got it fixed before bringing up the first comic. She asked us what we did for a living and Alex mumbled, "work in a warehouse." It was like we were undercover.

Sixteen comics took the stage and it became a once in a lifteime event.

Julian McCullough opened with great joke writing skills and great crowd work. He went after a stone faced guy in the front row but it was so good natured the rest of the room was behind him. Lesson learned.

Lenny Marcus hated the crowd but his material was too good to hate him back. He made me realize someday a good response is not going to be enough.

Jim Norton was a drop-in with some of the filthiest material I'd ever heard. He had a cold but you'd never know it from his performance. In the moment, hilarious and topped himself with every bit. His closer was both disgusting and made me think I didn't get laid enough when I was single.

Gary Gulman just had a Comedy Central special and I really need to see it. He did only two bits in twenty minutes but they were filled with jokes that seemed to come from every angle. He loved us because we got one obscure reference and shook all of our hands on his way out.

Gregg Rogell is just as tight and quirky as when I first saw him ten years ago. I've been a fan of his style for a long time and I would have gone to see him on his own.

Keith Robinson closed the first show with some of the best crowd work I have ever seen. There was material in there but I couldn't separate it.

The Cellar has an interesting format. They don't ever end the show. Marina made an announcement that they'd take an intermission and if we wanted to stay we could. About half the crowd took off and were replaced but we weren't going anywhere.

Jessica Kirson is a saint. She's done "the World" a few times (bumped me once and apologized to me for two minutes) so she kept looking at our table. She went up to Drucker. "You're a comic right? At the Improv. You're all comics. You shouldn't have to pay the cover." She went away and so did the cover. We were stunned. We came as fans and she treated us as professionals. Then she got up and destroyed.

Pete Correalle was new to me but I'm making a point to search him out. His point of view knocked me down. He would throw out a setup and I had NO idea what the punchline would be. Loved his attitude as well.

Sherrod Small has a set that, according to Tim, has been working for a long time. And you can tell. It's bulletproof. Hit every fifteen seconds. I could barely keep up. He did one bit and it made me think of a great joke. Then he did that joke.

Dan Naturman's style just appealled to me. It sat comfortably between Jon Lovitz and Norm MacDonald and I was with him anywhere he wanted to go.

Jim Florentine has the greatest shirt ever. His set was greater and a far cry from his "Crank Yankers" characters. He was understated, with solid down to earth material on relationships. Affable and easy to listen to.

Shawn Wayans showed up. Did twenty minutes from a different place than anyone else. You could feel the L.A. comedic actor style in his set. It was full of act outs and character pieces. If he wasn't a drop in, he would have had the perfect spot on the show.

Dave Attell could have closed the show and it would have been incredible. I've become a huge fan of his joke writing lately and he did not disappoint. Everything was new but sounded as if he'd been doing it for years. The great thing about Attell is that he'll give you a hilarious joke right away. Then tag it. Then tag it. Then tag it. By the fifth tag, you're in a different place than you started. And he'll do that for EVERY joke. My respect for him grows every time I see him.

Then Dave Chappelle got up. Dave Chappelle. He had no material and killed for 45 minutes. He just asked for news stories and immediately spun them into jokes. I'd seen him back in college in my student lounge and thought he was okay. The years have been good to Dave. Whether it's success or the thousands of shows he's done since I saw him last, he was 150 times the comic he was then. And the most comfortable comic that night.

Ardie Fuqua followed all this at 2:35 in the morning and showed us how it's done. People were leaving in droves after Chappelle walked off but Ardie just did his act. And it was great. His energy and confidence just plowed through and anyone who listened couldn't move. He had a decent, responsive crowd for his entire set but the man deserves a medal.

We were still buzzing in the street at 3 a.m. After months of shows (I just performed my 101st the night before), we were jaded. Five hours in the Comedy Cellar restored our faith. I can't wait to get on stage tonight.

Here's Alex Grubard's take on the night.

Iron Man

I'm working on a huge Marvel post and it looks like it won't be finished until next week (LOTS of pictures). While I'm working on that, you can listen to another theme song. Here's one for Iron Man that's just as catchy and just as short.

By the way, these are all from the 1966 Marvel Superheroes show. At the time, Spider-Man got Ralph Bakshi, the Fantastic Four got Hanna- Barbera, and the rest of the Marvel Universe got this cheapie. The animators actually cut up original Marvel comics and moved them around. In a way it's awful, but in another way you get to see actual Jack Kirby animation.

Distracted

That's the kindest way I can put my mood of late. I've got to go handle seven things that could be great or lousy. In the meantime, enjoy this song. It's 19 seconds long and stuck in my head for thirty years.

Shipping Delays

UPS has me by the balls.

I ordered the last two sets of Marvel Legends online Thanksgiving night. I thought it would keep me out of the stores during the holidays. Two days later, the figures were in every store. I bit my tongue and bided my time.

I supposed I could stand the wait. What would it be? Four days?

10. It's been 10 days. And a weekend.

It's supposed to come today. And I work nights so they can actually deliver this to my home. Of course I scheduled a lunch meeting. So I'm spending my morning staring out the window and expecting it to arrive as soon as I leave. I've left a note which will be casually ignored.

UPS has always made me pine for the ease and convenience of the post office. Why do we have alternatives if they're less efficient than the government sponsored version?

All hail Ed Murray!

Just found out Ed Murray won the 2006 Laff Off last night at Sal's Comedy Hole!

I competed in the Laff Off just once and Ed beat me. Now I don't feel so bad. I would have seen the finals but I had two sets at "The World" and Renee brought her cousins in. Sounds like I missed a hell of a show with Tim Warner and Maddog right behind Ed.

Ed's always been good but over the last six months I've watched him become a comic I admire. He deserves the title and his own show. Congrats, Ed!

Go to his blog and wish him well.

Hosting

Last night I MC'd the 10:00 show at "The World".

I'd only hosted once before (that out of town gig with Ed Murray and Jen Adams) so I was anxious all day. And I'm always kinda anxious.

But something happened while I was barking. I just relaxed. I stopped worrying about getting people in, how much time I had to be out there, all of it. I was just in the moment.

That continued when I got back. I went on at the end of the 8:00 and didn't think about my set. I just got up and talked. A crowd of drunken middle aged ladies were giggling at every word I said so I addressed it. I might have done two bits the entire set.

That warmed me up for hosting. As an MC, material is way less important than connecting with the crowd. I opened the 10:00 and the people were great. I gave them energy and they gave it back. I talked to them honestly and that's how they responded.

Everybody did well. I got to bring up Pat Dixon, Mike Drucker, Mike Bochetti, comics I love and they all killed. The crowd was there for them and stayed the entire show. I haven't had that much fun on stage in months.

If there's been one life lesson I've been forced to relearn over the years it's to let go. Stop worrying, stop living in the future, put fear aside and enjoy what's going on right now. Every time I do this, good things happen. I just wish I knew how to do it more often.