Stately Wayne Manor has burned down.
You know what bothers me? In college, this girl drove me all the way out to Long Island to see this house. It wasn't in Long Island. It was in Pasedena. And she wouldn't make out with me.
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Footnote: Youthful ward DICK seen toasting marshmellows and lighting farts!
You need to write more about your relationships with the ladies. They're some of the best stories I've heard about the male/female conundrum
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