Friday, November 04, 2005

Absoludicrous!


Yes, that's a Mr. T word. He coined it on some direct to video release designed to help kids. That's my theory anyway. Honestly, Brian and I don't know what the hell these videos are but they're hilarious.

Oh, how I love Mr. T. I hated 'Rocky' but I had to see 'Rocky III' because T was in it. I loved 'the A Team'. I loved 'T&T' where he played a lawyer. I love how he beat up cancer, just punched it a lot and beat it. I love how he lost his cool every time he went on Howard Stern. And now I love his rendition of 'Treat Yo Momma Right'. God, bless you, T.

Here's a little more information Brian dug up. It's called Be Somebody or Be Somebody's Fool! I want the full VHS tape. If the clips show Bobby Brown singing about the dangers of drugs, sage wisdom like 'you have to wear clothes. If you don't you'll get arrested', T reading dialogue like Fred Sanford, a format that basically turns Mr. T into Barney the purple dinosaur, and lots and lots of breakdancing, what could the rest of the tape show us?

4 comments:

Brian Kunath said...

We laugh, but that damn New Edition song and T's raps have been stuck in my head all day!

And remember, if you get in an absoludicrous situation, like tripping on a sidewalk, learn to recoup by, say, taking months of breakdancing lessons beforehand so you can spin and pop your way out of embarassment.

It works for T!

MO'SH said...

My youngest brother had the Mr. T album from sometime in the '80s. "Mr. T's Commandment" it was called. We still quote it today. "Mr. T's Commandments," sings the choir. "Believe it, cuz every word is true," finishes T.

It goes on to say "You don't need... no dope. You don't need...no drugs."

Nice sentiment, but, boy, was he off!

Brian Kunath said...

Just watched "Peer Pressure" again. One of my favorites, from the catchy New Edition song to T's guardian angel encouragments to the little boy shaking his head amidst a corona of proffered cigarettes and beer cans.

T looks so awkward in these segments. Look at him standing at the end of the peer as, four feet away, the preteens drink and smoke their way to mild nausea and poorly acted meloncholia.

T, you're right there! If you'd take one step forward you could dole out a little tough love to these brats. Why are you letting them taunt this nine-year old kid?

But I guess T realizes that you gotta make your own decisions in life. Can't nobody make 'em for you. Sorry, T. Once again, you prove yourself the master.

Brian Kunath said...

I can't stop on this! Breakdancing with Mr. T is too good. After checking out a little teen breakdancing (to a generic early-80s beat), T goes over to learn some stone poppin' and wavin' from a couple of 14-year old girls.

It doesn't take long to realize T isn't going to get the hang of any this. He groans and squeezes his musclebound way through a poorly executed wave, then, to save face, offers the awkwardly giggling girls his best move -- a biscep flex. "Hey, look at that!" He says.

Next stop, popping. The girls demonstrate the move, then it's T's turn. Watch him try to melt into the background as they all dance together. It looks like he's simultaneously imitating a woman and having a heart attack, all the time grunting and wincing as though he'd just finished 20 preacher curls at Gold's Gym.

But T never claimed to be a master breakdancer. He's simply showing how one can make art with one's body. Sorry, T. You're right again.