Mike Campbell Interview

Much respect to Dunlop for helping to make rock's most unsung hero a little less unsung:



And a bonus with Mike's tech (and his gear!):

AT-AT DAY AFTERNOON

The Muppets: Stand By Me

The Muppets may not be what they used to be but they still understand what makes them work. Eating other animals alive.

Seinfeld yells at Gaga

I hear the name Lady gaga and see pictures every single day and I have not heard one note of her music. that's either a testament to her publicist or a nail in the coffin of the music industry. But she seems to make a name for herself by attention stealing in public places, the latest in Citi Field. And Jerry Seinfeld is more annoyed than I am.

I do like the turn Seinfeld is taking lately. I loved the reunion on "Curb". I would like "The Marrage Ref" a lot more if he were on it every week. And I like how cantakerous he's become in his 50's. It's like Cosby; the crankier he gets, the more I like him.

Toy Story 3

It rains here all the time. Locals say it's unusual to have this much precipitation but to my eyes, it rains all the time. So much that we've been getting violent storms. Friday a nasty black cloud moved in with 70 mph winds. I work on the 29th floor and once HR saw the windows buckling, they herded us into the elevator stairwell. The storm moved past in 20 minutes but left behind a wake of felled trees and downed power lines.

Our power was out most of the weekend. Yesterday was Father's Day and rather than spend it in a hot, dark house we headed to the malls at Naperville. With the whole day to kill and Ben almost three, we figured it was a good time for his first movie theater experience.

We got to the theater and Renee stopped in the parking lot. "I don't think he understands what's going on."

I knelt down.

"Ben? You see this building?"
"Uh-huh."
"We're going to go in there now and we're going to see Buzz and Woody."
Audible gasp.
"And have popcorn."
Ben ran into the theater.

He was absolutely overwhelmed by the screen. He sunk in his seat and tapped Renee on the arm. "Mommy? This is the biggest TV I ever saw."

He sat quietly through the entire movie. Didn't hurt that the movie was great. It's the type that suckers you in. I spent most of the time thinking, "Sure, this is good but its' not 1 or 2 good." Then it paid off. Paid off big time.

This is not a film of a stand-out set piece (though it has them) or great new characters (though it has them). It's a whole and when it's finished, you walk away with the entire film in your head.

And dammit if it doesn't make everyone cry. The kids in the audience got a little fidgety during the deepest emotional moments but they stayed with it. It has that right balance that holds every age every demographic. Someday people will call this time a golden age of film because it had PIXAR in it.

Ben loved it. But before we left he had to touch the screen. It was just too big.

Tom Petty MOJO

Got the album. Got tickets for the United Center. Got to watch this.

Go Lion

I'm in love with Half Price Books. There's one out here that buys everything I bring in. I've gotten rid of at least five boxes I shouldn't have moved from New York and made a few hundred bucks already. It's eliminated my need to sell on ebay.

The store itself is also slammed with great finds. For example,last week I picked up volume 1 of "Voltron" on dvd for ten bucks. You know, this thing:



Man, I loved this show when I was 12. I spent most of my confirmation money on the die-cast Japanese toy that could break into all five lions. It could also break into 25 more pieces after one trip to the beach.

The show holds up about as well. It's stilted anime with two dimensional characters (all ripped off from Battle of the Planets) with watered down, repetitive and confusing stories. Asa much as I loved it in the 80's I couldn't quite understand it. This is why:



Turns out the original show was so incredibly violent, editing it for content removed most of the content. I kind of want to see "Go Lion" just to find out if it makes more sense. Even if it's an anime kind of sense.

Old Old Guitars

It occurs to me I might never have posted this picture of my guitars. Which is a shame cause it looks awesome.



2006 Fender American Stratocaster
1991 Telecaster Plus Deluxe
1999 Rickenbacker 330/12
2001 Les Paul Standard

It's missing four more guitars, including the one I posted yesterday. I'll have to take new pictures.

New Old Guitar

One of the good things about being in La Grange is there's an excellent guitar store five minute walk from the house. I'd been getting to know the owner pretty well (even saw his band at the local carnival cause that's the sort of thing they got here). So after I moved in, I decided to get myself a birthday present...



It's a 1968 Gibson LG-00. It has a punchy little sound for a Gibson and reminds me strongly of the guitar Robert Johnson is holding in only picture of him ever. I love how worn and broken in the guitar is. The finish is checked all over, creating a web of texture. It's not the big, strummy sound I was looking for but I finally own a good acoustic instead of the 20 year old Ovation copy I bought in high school and is slowly dying on me.

The owner of the shop replaced the bridge from plastic to ebony and sold it on consignment to me for $300. I paid $200 for that Ovation in 1989 and this vintage instrument is only another $100. Sometimes it pays to NOT be in the city.

Want to Hear My Last Night in NY?

The evening before I was to leave for Chicago, Trafton and I went to Comix to see Marc Maron's WTF taping. It was phenomenal. I'd been a fan of Maron since the early 90's and talked about his podcast here several times. I'd once sat next to him at a Billy Connolly show but never saw him perform. They had two seats right up front and being comics, we were the only ones willing to take them.

Marc had John Mullaney, Jeaneane Garafalo, Todd Barry, Morgan Murphy, Greg Giraldo and Tom Shillue. Some I'd performed with, some I'd seen, some I didn't know. All were great.

After the show I ran into Tim Warner and Jaqi Furback. Tim and I were too intimidated to say hello to Maron but Jaqi called us pussies or something equally unmanning. I also had the sting of the night I froze in front of Jeaneane. I ended up dragging Tim down with me.

I shook Marc's hand. "Great show, man, I just wanted to say you're one of the reasons I got into comedy."

"Really? Hey, thanks."

"Poverty got me out."

I got a laugh. I got a laugh from Marc Maron.

Tim said something sincere to him (I think that's for him to relate) and Trafton, Jaqi, Tim and myself until 2 at a bar across the street, downing pitchers and pizza dragged in from across the street. I can honestly say I haven't had that much fun since.

I'd been waiting a month for the show to get posted. Well, it's finally up but there's a catch. It's the first show you need to pay for. But it was worth $30 to see and it's definitely worth $2.99 to own. If you want to hear me laugh and hear Tim be the only one to applaud a comment by Greg Giraldo, here it is.

Wall Street Journal Article on Rockaway Beach

According to the WSJ, I'm from a shanty town.

They make up for it with this piece on the premier boxing collection at my alma mater, Brooklyn College.

Thanks to Ann-Marie Kirby-Payne who still lives there.

Symptom 7 Opening for KISS?

Yes. If you vote for them. And use zip code 11793

Now I don't like KISS. I've never cared for whatever it is they think they're doing. I did work on some KISS product at Art Asylum back in the 90's and listening to "Destroyer" on a loop for three months didn't change my opinion.

But I recognize KISS has a lot of fans. Fans that fit into a stadium. And I want Symptom 7 to play in that stadium. I've played with the three gentleman in that band many, many times and they deserve it more than the three bands ahead of them in the poll right now. If they don't win, I'm blaming you.

Vote!.

Amplitube

Yep. The iphone officially does everything.

Happy Memorial Day

Iron Baby

OK I admit it. It's adorable.

Trololo

Every now and then Walker sends me something I can't fathom. This is one.



Sure looks happy, doesn't he?

Conan and Stewart in 1994

Wow. This looks like the open mic of the two most important late night talk show hosts. Just look at the nervous energy.



I can't make too much fun, though as this was shot at a time when I was very, very serious about my band.

LOST Finale

Loved it. It was a show I was always interested in, but not in love with. I almost quit during the low of Season 3. But this season pulled me in closer than ever before. And the finale managed to tie everything up in the way the X Files couldn't. I'm buying the series on Blu-Ray.

No,they were NOT dead the entire time. Stop arguing about it.

10 Things I Learned From Gilligan's Island

Amazon had a Gold Box sale on the Complete Gilligan's Island on DVD for $40 last week. I hadn't seen it in 20 years. Renee thought I shouldn't get it but she doesn't think I should get anything. 10 episodes in she admits she was wrong.

When I was a kid the show didn't have any influences or subtext. It was just there. Like Sesame Street or the Adam West Batman. Now as an adult, I see the show differently.

Here are some of the things I learned:

1. Ginger and Maryann: equally hot.
2. The Professor would have figured out what that smoke monster was in 2 minutes.
3. Really? The Howells packed Shakespearean costumes?
4. Jim Backus steals every scene he's in. EVERY scene.
5. The giant spider is not so scary. Not after "Return of the King".
6. Skipper and Gilligan are just doing a syndicated Laurel and Hardy.
7. You can tag any joke by looking into the camera.
8. They had enough time to give everyone their own hut.
9. Anyone else who lands on that island is kind of a dick.
10.Not everyone understood the Beatles.

History of the Big Muff

Interesting how tastes change.

I used to hate distortion pedals. Had a RAT in the 80's from Walker (hated it). Got a Metal Zone (hated it). Got a BOSS turbo distortion (hated it). Then I quit and went straight to the amp. For the next decade I had to have a channel switching amp. The Marshall JCM 900 was my amp of choice (it would take me 12 years to buy my own). I got what I could afford which was a Marshall Valvestate combo (which I still kinda own though I left it in Eddie Joe's house in NY).

But last year I fell in love with the Vox AC30. It was quirky, traditional but unique and had classic tremolo. But it didn't have a distortion channel. I had to go back to a pedal.

I thought about what I wanted. I didn't want a pedal that would pretend to be an amp. So overdrives, including the classic Tube Screamer, were out. I hated what I had so I wasn't going back to the wide range of pedals I already owned.

Then I thought about the distortion sounds I liked. Monster Magnet. Black Sabbath. Nirvana. Smashing Pumpkins. Weezer. The solo in "Who's That Lady?" The melody line in "Never Met a Girl Like You Before".None of those guys got their drive solely form the amp. They all used fuzz. And most used a Big Muff.

I got one last year before my birthday and it worked well. Except it was so bassy it lost presence in the mix of a band (like most equipment, it sounds completely different when other instruments are playing). But Electro Harmonix solved that for me with the newest version with a "tone wicker". It gave me the option of knocking the tone control out of and keeping me in the mix no matter how many guitars were next to me (and in Walker's band, I never knew). To make a long story short, I love it. And I wnat to know more about it.

Here's a whole history of the Big Muff posted interestingly enough, on a David Gilmour site. Cause if there's one thing that can thicken a strat's tone, it's a Big Muff.

Pedalboard

C'est finis.

We're Stars

Dave Wasklewicz and I were talking about the passing of Dio and he sent me this. I have NEVER seen this before. You?



We're Stars

Leave it to 80's heavy metal bands to take a benefit song and make it all about them.

Dio NO!

Ronnie James Dio has passed away.

I did not see this coming. Heaven and Hell had been touring. They just put an album out. And he always seemed so alert and on the ball you couldn't imagine anything wrong with him.

Out of all the Black Sabbath front men, I never expected Ozzy Osbourne to outlive Dio.

He will be missed.

DVD 2 Blu

I am the only person I know with a Blu-ray player (let alone the only person with three). When people ask me (with a tired look in their eyes) if they need to replace all their dvds, I tell them it's not worth it. The increased picture quality and sound is nice, but not necessary for every film (although some like the recent Lord of the Rings trilogy Blu-Ray? Absolutely necessary.)

That said Warners has made it really easy if you want to upgrade some of your existing titles. They started a program at dvd2blu.com where you can send back your dvd for the upgraded Blu-ray for about 5 bucks. It's such a good deal I might send some I wasn't even planning on upgrading.

Patton Strikes Back

Last week I talked about Ed Murray talking about the comedian who stole Patton Oswalt's bits.

Now Patton's talking about it.

Ring modulator

I've been experimenting with the ring modulator setting on my Line 6 pedal. I still don't know what it does but this video comes as close as anything to explaining it.

Iron Man 2

Iron Man 2 makes the same mistake as Spider-Man 3 (which shows me Marvel get greedier with each hit). Too many characters, too many 'b' plots, no clear antagonist, no clear goal for the protagonist.

Nothing bad happens in this film. The action is bigger than the first, with lots of sweeping shots and explosions. There's tons and tons of charming Tony moments. There's a drunken super hero scene which would not work if it was anyone but Tony Stark.

But it's all meaningless. The first movie was about Tony regaining his soul through adversity and innovation. He goes from a coddled wonder boy to a man that can stand on his own. I don't know what this movie was about, other than action set pieces.

The antagonists don't help. Mickey Rourke is a great thug. Sam Rockwell is a terrific toady. But who's the mastermind? If they didn't pump the comedy up so high on Rockwell's character it could have been him. I didn't think I'd miss Jeff Bridges but he grounded that first film.

Iron Man 2 is the first Marvel movie to not be better than the original. The fact that the original is the bets Marvel film ever makes it sting all the more.

The Joke Thief

Ed Murray sent me a video of an open micer ripping off Patton Oswalt word for word (it's not worth the exposure this guy will get to repost it). Now Ed's telling the world through the Huffington Post.

Read it.

Michael Pataki

Michael Pataki has passed away at the age of 72.

Pataki was well known in the 60's and 70's. Howie and I knew him from three places: "Side Hackers" which was our favorite movie on Mystery Science Theater 3000, "The Amazing Spider-man" live action tv show in the 70's where he played a cop that had never appeared in the books, and "The Trouble With Tribbles" episode of the original Star Trek where as a Klingon, he delivered the classic line, "I didn't mean to say the Enterprise should be hauling garbage, I meant to say it should be HAULED AWAY... AS GARBAGE!" Howie and I made sure to learn his name and celebrate his every appearance.

He will be missed.

More Bilko

File this under none cares but me but The Phil Silvers Show season 1 is finally coming on DVD!

Four years ago we got a 3 disc best of and anyone would have assumed that's all we'd get.

Extras include a Lucy Show guest starring Phil. Here's hoping a later season has his Gilligan's Island as Harold Hecuba. Let's hope there is a later season (I'm looking at you, The Bob Newhart Show).

Moved.

I am in Chicago. Started at Mcgarry/Bowen Chicago which is interesting. I'm meeting a lot of people I'm not technically working with. And working with people online like my entire job is a Facebook status update.

But more importantly, I got this in my house:

Mr. Tinkertrain

I'm cranking and getting things stuck in my head. Right now it's Ozzy Osbourne's 1991 opener, "Mr. Tinkertrain". And I'm making up my own words.



walker and I loved to do quick parodies. They didn't have to have any kind of theme, just as long as they rhymed with the original line. We went to Coney Island and back rhyming Milli Vanilli's "Blame It on the Rain". But I like "Mr. Tinkertrain" best. Maybe because no one knows it. I liked it so much that I hear these old jokes every time I hear the song. They're all stupid.

That's why they call me

Mr. Tinkertrain
Nirvana's Kurt Cobain
majestic Lake Champlain
Just to complain
Megadeth's Dave Mustaine
high on cocaine
Dr. Frasier Crane
ambassador to Spain
King of Pain
prescription for Rogaine
Insane in the membrane
Aragorn's the Dunedain
Yelling across the plains
Lion has a mane
Mr. Windowpane

Now you try!

Marc Maron is talking to Robin Williams

And you should listen to it here.

Up in Lights

They were shooting a movie outside the comic book store Wednesday and a P.A. stopped me.

"Where are you going?"

This was a movie. The industry I wanted to write for. Wanted to perform in. I know a hundred guys that would kill to be where I was standing.

"The comic store still open?"

I think my performing bug is done.

No Flash

Ed Murray sent me this image. Took me a minute then I laughed for five.

Jim Lee Likes His iPad

Take a look at some of the sketches he's done by hand on his ipad.

Love that Joker!

Leaving and Drinking

I sent this around work this morning. You might as well see it too.


Hey, everybody!

After much deliberation I am proud to say I am not leaving McGarry/Bowen.

But I am leaving New York.

Starting next month, I'll be working remotely from the Chicago office. So
I'll still be working with you all on Verizon, Crayola, Sharp, etc. But I
won't be eating the free food at portfolio reviews, answering phone calls on
the windy deck or walking the half mile from 8th Avenue every morning. And I
won't be going out for drinks after work with you guys.

So we should go out Thursday.


Thursday, April 22, 2010
6:30pm until a moment of clarity early Friday

Location:
Rosie O'Grady's, 800 7th Ave (at 52nd)

Taking Off

I'm going to hit some cheap air fare, the new house and the Chicago Comicon this weekend. So retroactively, I've spent my last weekend in NY. It was a good one.

Back in town Tuesday.

"Spectacular Spider-Man" is Dead

I said in an earlier post that it wouldn't be long until we saw another "Spider-Man" animated series. At the time, I lobbied that it should be a third season of the great "Spectacular Spider-Man".

Well they did. And it isn't. Marvel is launching a new show next year based on "Ultimate Spider-Man" a book that has never captured me the way "Amazing Spider-Man" has. Will the show grab me the way "Spectacular" did. I don't know. But I know me. I will watch it.

Mattel SDCC exclusives

Thank Matty these will be available online because I'm going to need that Plastic Man and Starro.

See?

Game Reviews - E3 2010 - AOTS Exclusive

Plus, I just found out I'm going to C2E2 this weekend. Wish me luck getting the white Sinestro and Black Hal Jordan I was complaining about two weeks ago.

Conan Going to TBS

I think we can safely assume no one expected this.

"In three months I've gone from network television to Twitter to performing live in theaters, and now I'm headed to basic cable," O'Brien said in a news release. "My plan is working perfectly."

iPhone OS 4.0

Here's what the iphone will do next. Most of it is stuff non iphone owners assumed it already did.

Mickey Hornung Memorial

My cousin Mickey passed away last Thanksgiving weekend. We're still a little sad but this benefit for the family will help. I'll be playing a few songs and seeing a few friends. Come if you can.


Saturday, April 10, 2010

Time:
7:00pm - 11:55pm

Location:
Our Lady of Grace Hall


Our Lady of Grace Hall on April 10th 2010 will celebrate the life of Musician/Writer/Father/Husband Henry "Mickey" Hornung. We celebrate in the way Mickey would have with live bands and music and most of all Friends and The Neighborhoods of South Queens.

We ask that you come out and enjoy the music of The Kitchen, Dean Purple, Walker and The Brotherhood of the Grape with special guests Ron Zabrocki, F.L. Lombardo, B.M.W.A....and many more

$40 at door includes dinner buffet and door prize raffle. Many other great prizes to be won! One night only.

ALL PROCEEDS FROM THIS EVENT WILL BE DONATED TO MICKEY'S FAMILY.


If you can't make it to the event, you can mail a donation to:

Camille Hornung
c/o Donna Hornung
159-28 101st Street
Howard Beach, New York 11414


Anyone interested in buying or selling raffle tickets in advance should contact Liz McGuire at lizzymacrn@aol.com - (718) 738-5668.

Please add photo's of Mickey and pics from South Queens below

After Party @ The Rail with Jimmy Dowd

iPad Comic Book Readers

Now that the iPad is out, I only have one question: how do I get my digital comics on it?

This article is a big help and a big step towards me getting one.

Rock Turtleneck

Instead of reading what I have to say today, why not check out Rock Turtleneck? Good friend Steve Walsh is hosting "Wilco Week" and his latest entry has a post by good friend Mike Brumm about meeting Jeff Tweedy on the set of the Colbert Report. Jeff Tweedy is not a good friend but Yankee Hotel Foxtrot seems like an old relative.

And it's here.

iPad Arcade

Sure it's cute but I wonder how Apple feels that after all this work to make a tablet thin and light, a third party immediately makes it thick and clunky.

Mike Lanigan

My father-in-law just posted this on Facebook:

Dear family and friends,

Following is a letter that my wife wrote today:

I have filed a missing persons report for my son, Michael. Mike has been known to "take off" in the past, for parts unknown, but has always checked in by telephone or simply returned home within a few days. This time is different. He has not been seen or heard from since March 27. He may be in Los Angeles or Orlando - we have no idea. We only know that he has been living on the street, in his wheelchair, for the past three weeks.

In addition to his Cerebral Palsy, Mike now appears to be Schizophrenic. This has led him to believe that he is in “the industry,” (meaning the entertainment industry). Mike watches WWE and TNA wrestling shows religiously, and will try to attend events in the larger cities that are easily accessible by train.

I have included photos of Mike, and a time line for his known activity - and what we have done to track him down - from the day he left until now. I am hoping that everyone who receives this will share it with their friends and relatives across the country. Maybe someone will see him on the street, or perhaps you have a friend who works in a hospital in a large city, etc.

It is possible that he is in a hospital, but he will not give permission for staff to call us. We have not heard from the police in over a week, and are not confident that they are putting much effort into finding Mike.

I would be very happy to learn that he has found a place to live, and is being taken care of physically. If you or someone you know has any resources that could help in any way, please share this with them. Thank you.

---------------------------------------

Mike’s Time Line - March, 2010

13th Went out “for the night”

14 Called home to say he would not be back that day, had things to do

17 On Twitter - was in a coffee shop in Los Angeles - Starbucks at Hollywood and McCadden - writing to people he sees on television, asking for help

18 On Twitter - in coffee shop, Coffee Bean, at Gayley and Weyburn, in LA. Said he had been cleaned up at a hospital. Last tweet from there said “need saving.”

23 I filed missing persons report in Chicago. Police were not inclined to do much about it, since Mike left under his own power. Called cousin, Sgt. Mike Smith. Shortly thereafter, received a call from Det. Paul Carboni, who was assigned to the case.

24 Another coffee shop (LA?), tweeting to Olivia Munn (from “Attack of the Show” cable TV show). Was apparently asked to leave (probably due to the stench emanating from him).

25 Mike called home - said he was not coming back. Later, tweeted from the Huntington Beach library - “tweeps and twolks send help please!”

27 Tweeted from the Huntington Beach Main Street library - “hospitals wouldn’t do the bathroom change....low on cash....please also send help with clean up, very dire situation....if i can manage to get out of california since nothing matched up the next stop is obviously florida.” Florida?? Perhaps to attend a wrestling event?? TNA Impact in Orlando??

His last tweet said, “but im really stuck badly right now. wish i knew where some folks are, very sad, chair not holding up well.”

28 Rick & Mary to Huntington Beach - stayed for 3 days. Contacted police dept. immediately upon arrival, they were not inclined to help since he left on his own and was mobile, but they took the report. Walked around HB and talked to bouncers at bars, left phone numbers with them.

29 Found a wheelchair repair shop owner who had seen Mike go by several days earlier and was able to describe him. Shop owner was formerly with Sheriff’s Dept. and made up a flyer on the spot, and faxed it to all wheelchair repair shops in the area. Visited HB Hospital; they had not seen him.

30 Visited HB police dept. again to see what was happening with Mike’s case. Was told by “volunteer” at the desk that it would take at least 4 or 5 days for the case to find its way to a detective’s desk!! Called my cousin in Chicago (Sgt. Mike Smith) to tell him about it, and that we had not heard anything from the HB police. A while later, received a call from a Det. Ellis, with HB police, who had been assigned to the case. He, too, was not inclined to take it too seriously, since Mike left of his own accord.

30 Found librarian at Huntington Beach Main Street branch who had helped Mike on the 27th. Reported same to HB police. Left flyer at library. Left flyers with Coast Guard and a ministry that serves the homeless (located behind the library). Talked to homeless people on the street and at the beach. Visited shopkeepers in “downtown” HB, left flyers and phone numbers. Called hospitals in the area.

31 Returned to LA, went to studio where Attack of the Show is produced, talked to security, left photo and phone number. Visited coffee shops that Mike had previously mentioned - no one recognized his photo. Left photo and phone numbers at Union Station with various security people. We returned home next morning.

As of today, April 4, Mike has not been seen by anyone nor heard from via Twitter since March 27th. It is entirely possible that he is fine - but it is more likely that he is not fine, smells and looks like an outhouse on wheels, and needs psychiatric care. Worse possibilities are simply unthinkable right now.

Green Lantern Wondercon Exclusives

I love Green lantern. Always have but Geoff Johns' new series is the most consistently great series of the last decade.

So I've been buying the figures. 3 3/4" Infinite heroes. 6" DC Universe Classics. 8" Mego style retro figures. 13" deluxe figures. And even though I quit DC Direct, I've been grabbing some of the Blackest Night line.

So last year DC Direct announced five green Lantern exclusives:



And it was a disaster. Mob rule. panicked crowd. Raffles. Long lines in 90-degree heat. I wasn't there but my friend Anthony went and scored us all five. Apparantly that's all he did the five days of the convention. Everyone involved said it was the worst sale of an exclusive they'd ever seen.


Now there's this:



Are you fucking kidding me?

Look at the rules. Wristbands. Lotteries. Winning tickets. DC Direct is already admitting they haven't printed enough of these figures to meet demand. They clearly seem more interested in the mayhem the demand will cause than the money sales would generate. And releasing them at a third rate convention instead of San Diego seems poorly planned at best, contemptuous at worst. I'll be haunting ebay for these and God knows what my spending limit will be.

Dammit.

If I Needed Someone

Been meaning to post this for a while. VH1 showed this on "Duets" back in the 90's and it's been stuck in my head ever since.



If I Needed Someone

Two underrated songwriters playing an underrated song from the most underrated Beatle. That Rickenbacker 12 string can not be overrated.

Futuristic Movie Timeline

I've been wanting to do something like this since I was 12. I was trying to figure out if every sci-fi movie could have existed in the same timeline. I was a lonely little boy.



No "Star Wars" here. I guess you can't quantify "A Long Time Ago".

Les Paul and Mary Ford

Here's an episode from Les Paul and Mary Ford's five minute show in the fifties.



Proof that in the fifties, networks had no idea what they were doing. Really? A five minute show? The plot of which is Les is trying to remember something that he never remembers? While Mary pots a plant? That's a story?

But as a music video, it's great. Between Les's transcendant playing (I see sweep picking!) and the forward thinking of multitracking, it's still incredible music.

I Got Twitter!

There's a twitter widget on the right over there. Check it out and add me.

Or go here.

Thanks to Mo Diggs for doing it first.

George Takei

Here's a commercial we just did:



I worked on the digital and almost got the chance to fly to L.A. and direct him in some cool video banners. But I was the first one to add "Oh my" into his scripts. So I'm taking credit for the tag.

The Score

Okay, so my tweets have confused you. So here, in detail, what is going on.

Renee and Ben have moved to Chicago. We bought a house in La Grange and unpacked all weekend. Renee starts her new job and Ben starts his new day care today. The cats are also there, sleeping on a new king size bed.

I am not there. I am in NY at my job. I met with the Chicago office Friday and a transfer may or may not happen. Seems I do a job they don't have there, but would like to. I'm giving them some time to work it out before I come up with another plan.

Good news; I no longer have to go home to take care of my son. Bad news; I have no car to get anywhere the subway won't take me. Worse news; my landlord is ripping the house apart in an attempt to make it sell-able once I leave. So I left my new house, old stuff and current family to live in a construction site. But I still got some toys.

I'm Gone

Off to Chicago to do some small things that will make some big changes.

Short posts are meaningless in a post Twitter world.

Why the Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame Sucks

In the late 80's, when the induction ceremonies started, I dreamed of going to this mystical museum. When Renee and I went in 2003 it was pretty awesome. And when I went back last year, it sucked. Zero repeat value. And they let morons in. Devalued the whole building.

This year's lineup is the lamest yet especially in the light of Eddie Trunk's rants and CNN's list of people who haven't made it in yet. What kind of criteria gets you in? In my book, there will never be enough room for ABBA. Even the hot brunette whose dad was a Nazi.

Also, before the NY Annex closed, we went and Ben had a meltdown so for $60, we saw nothing. I blame the Hall of Fame for that too.

When Toy Collecting Should End

I've been collecting action figures for over thirty years and even I think this guy should grow up.



There's something about a 36 year old crying, "How can I have a He-Man with no Battle Cat!?!" that puts it all into perspective.

Amber Lamps

By now you've seen this:



It has 4 million views so it's been recorded that you have.

But you haven't seen this yet:

Amber Lamps

It's a whole community devoted to the girl sitting and watching the fight. It's genius because it reveals an unspoken truth; that during the video you will once think, "Hey, that girl's hot".

Gilbert Sells You a Shoedini

Larry Miller Podcast

Larry filled in for Adam Carolla yesterday on his podcast in what I think is the first time he ever hosted a radio show. It's honest, charming, delightful and a reminder why Miller is one of my favorite comedians ever.

Listen here.

Iron Man 2 Trailer

There's a new one out.

And it's a lot more serious than the first. We get more drama, more action, more War machine and even a quick peek at the Mark V. In other words, it makes me feel a lot better.

Here it is. How do you feel?

Dead Pool

I always wanted to join one. And now I have. Robby Rigano invited me (and she also gave me a bag of black jelly beans so you can see the awesome sense of humor) and put it all online.

Check the schadenfreude, won't you?

Tales of the Gold Monkey

The "Raiders of the Lost Ark" one season ripoff finally shows up on June 8.

Will it be another timeless classic of the era like "Taxi"? Or unwatchable like the original "Battlestar Galactica"? If I don't buy this I will rent it on Netflix. Cause all I remember was Stephen Collins getting malaria every week.

Mr. Freeze Puns

This minute video makes "Batman and Robin" look like fun. It isn't.

Roger Ebert gets His Voice Back

If you've been following the news about Roger Ebert over the past three years, you know that cancer took Roger Ebert's jaw and condemned him silence four years ago. His writing, now the only form of his communication, has become transcendent. Each review is like the work of a great author.

But Roger may not be silent forever. A Scottish company has developed a text-to-speech program that has sampled Roger's own voice (fortunately, thanks to 'At the Movies', there are hundreds of hours of his speech recorded).

Here he is on Oprah. When he switches from the standard Stephen Hawking tone to his own sample, it's truly breathtaking.

Take a look.

Back

Friday to Sunday. Drinking all day and playing guitar all night for a hundred partying people. Guess it was worth that four hour wait on the runway.

Travelling

Going to Puerto Rico in a blizzard. This should be fun.

A Behanding in Portland

Dave Charles (who took me to that free Paul McCartney concert five years ago made good again last night. He works at MOMA and the entire staff was given free tickets to "A Behanding in Portland" with Christopher Walken and Sam Rockwell. It's in previews now and begins a 16 week run in March.

And if you want to see Christopher Walken act like Christopher Walken, this is where you should be. He plays a man with one hand. He lost his hand 47 years ago (he tells us repeatedly) and he wants it back. He holds three other characters hostage for 90 minutes with a gun, a can of gasoline and the power of Christopher Walken.

And yes, he really talks like that. Do you really need to know anything else?

Muppets Are Back

Friends Doing Good Things

Kumail is on Marc Maron's podcast.

I'm proud of both of them.

Episode I Review

This is exploding online so here's another place it can blow. Here's a seven part deconstruction of Star Wars Episode I: the Phantom Menace that nails it at every angle. From major mistakes in dramatic storytelling to geeky plot holes, this guy gives the best reason why we walked out of that movie, thinking, "But it has to be good. It's Star Wars!"

As film criticism it's spot on. As comedy it's a little shaky. Some of the jokes land with a thud and he goes dark for no reason at all. And his juxtoposition of insightful criticism from a dumb persona is just confusing. So you may have to ignore some jokes.

Part 1:


Part 2:


Part 3:


Part 4:


Part 5:


Part 6:


Part 7:


You Facebook readers will have to go straight to my blog. But it's worth it.

Passive Aggressive Notes

Is there anything more pleasing than watching someone get too angry or superior over an insignificant thing?

This website proves once and for all, that there is not.

Toy Fair 2010

Out of everything I've seen from this year's Toy Fair, this makes me the most happy.

PR Damage

Why is Southwest Airlines apologizing? They didn't make Kevin Smith fat. That blame lies with Smith and his fans who pay for all that mayonnaise.

1978 Star Wars Kenner Catalog

I've been out sick and buried under snow the last two days (I did Twitter though. I swear I did. Follow me if you don't believe it.) but I've come up long enough to give you something.

Who wants to see the original Kenner Star Wars catalog? What's that? You say, everybody?

Well then, here you go.

Crying Wife

If you thought Star Wars was the saddest thing you've ever seen, this is for you.

Look.

Show Tonight!

Everything I said Wednesday still stands.


Jimmy Dowd of St. James Clothing Presents
NYC Stormtroopers
@ Blvd NYC
199 Bowery
between Spring and Rivington
showing the art of Pat Conlon
with Live music by
Indaculture
and
Walker and The Brotherhood of the Grape
with special Guest B.M.W.A
celebrating Geoff Unger's Birthday
Special added guest Drexler @ 9 P.M.

Jump Backwards

I dare you to look away.



Jump!

Show Friday!

Jimmy Dowd of St. James Clothing Presents
NYC Stormtroopers
@ Blvd NYC
199 Bowery
between Spring and Rivington
showing the art of Pat Conlon
with Live music by
Indaculture
and
Walker and The Brotherhood of the Grape
with special Guest B.M.W.A
celebrating Geoff Unger's Birthday
Special added guest Drexler @ 9 P.M.

John and Molly Get Along 4

Ah, John and Molly. Why should I do comedy when you're out there doing it for me.



Direct link.

Costarring birthday boy Ted Alexandro.

Late Night Wars Nowhere Near Over

Now that Conan's gone, it's come between Jay and Jimmy. And Jimmy is ahead.

iPad

The more I read about this before the keynote Wednesday, the more excited I got. A touch screen laptop with no keyboard? Sounds like a perfect replacement for that Macbook I never got around to picking up.

Then it launched. No Flash, 64 GB, iPhone OS. In fact, iPhone everything. It's a big old iPhone. The iBook store is aimed right at the Kindle but will the screen be any easier on the eyes than a laptop? As someone who's read hundreds of comic books on a laptop screen with the lights out, I know this is something you should not be doing.

If this had a full OS, 300GB of memory, Flash and weighed four pounds, I'd still be all over it. I need function over form and that's the one way Apple ever fails me. The concept is incredible and the execution is beta. In two or three years, after a few upgrades, the iPad will be essential. The same way the iPhone became interesting once it hit 32GBs.

Apple thinks it's way more revolutionary than it is. The internet pundits think it's useless. No one's going to be happy when this thing launches.

The Prisoner

I love this show and everyone I try to introduce it to hates it.

The Prisoner to this day is a groundbreaking, unique show. It's creepy and weird and delights in keeping you off kilter. A psychedelic X Files or a Kafkaesque James Bond. Either way you look at it, it's tremendously better than the new age remake AMC foisted on us.

Here's the opening. It's a three minute title sequence. Three minutes! That's just ridiculous and another reason people hate it.

The Lift

Greatest bad horror movie ever.

Star Wars 3D

They say the technology in Avatar will change how we see movies. They didn't mention old movies.

George Lucas has once again shown us his true gift and is pleased to announce he's found a new way to sell us the same old product. All six "Star Wars" films will be rereleased in 3D. I'm not excited about this but I have to admit I'm interested. Put them on the Blu-Ray, which I'm sure to buy anyway, and I'll be pleased.

Agency of the Year

It's been a long time since I've been proud of my work in advertising. But moving to Mcgarry/Bowen last August has made me feel creative, integral to the process and appreciated.

Turns out the rest of the industry thinks so too. AdAge just named Mcgarry/Bowen Agency of the Year. It's rainy, grey and Monday but everyone here is in a very good mood.

Conan's Done

So Conan's last show is tonight and he pockets $45 million for leaving. Looks like Fox will want him in September and leno will return to the Tonight Show under a cloud of bad press.

But here's a question no one is asking; what the hell is NBC putting on at 10?

Avatar

Judging from the attendance in the theater, Renee and I were two of the last in America to see it.

Everyone's weighed in on this movie. Most people love it. Some people are too sad it ended. One guy died.

I'm not as in love with it. It's a film that's incredibly well crafted, taking a giant leap from where Lucas left off technologically. Nobody does big like Cameron. That man takes incredible financial risks every time out of the gate and pays it off every time. He's got a track record a gambler would envy.

And yet, much of this movie feels like a remake of his Aliens . We have the scumbag corporation in space, screwing over the lower guys on the ladder. We have the gung-ho two-dimensional military. We have the power loader. We have the out of control alien animal life. We have the drop ship. We have Sigourney Weaver.

But when you look at Aliens today you realize it's not a high budget film. This is. The amount of detail on the screen is stunning. Every pixel on screen looks agonizingly worked over. I was in the middle of five minute flight scene before I noticed the complex system of the wings.

The 3D only enhances that effect. Instead of looking for novel ways to throw objects from the screen at us (like the ludicrous Piranha 3D trailer)Cameron found techniques to make the screen deeper. The viewing planes pull away, so you want climb in the screen and explore this deep, new world.

Yet, emotionally it feels hollow. The plot hits the Hero's Journey/ Mutiny on the Bounty riffs with a clang. And we don't get a chance to identify with any character too deeply. There's too much happening (for a two and a half film, something new happens every two minutes). We don't get enough time with any character in live action to project them onto the cg versions. The animation is superb but it always feels like animation. At its best, scenes play like actors in masks.

Oh, and James Cameron still loves the color blue. 25 years of blue films. Congratulations, Cameron!

Racist Commercial

Man.



As a comedian, I'm offended. As an advertiser I'm offended. But as a conosseur of train wrecks, I love it.

Every Elevator is an Express Elevator

Heard about this from Patton Oswalt on Jimmy Pardo's podcast.

Here's what you do:

1. Get on an "Otis Elevator".
2. Press your floor and the 'door close button AT THE SAME TIME.
3. Your elevator will skip every floor but your own.

I've now ruined your inter-office commute.

Onion's Best Comedy Albums of the Decade

Of these albums, I've heard 75%. Of the comics that made these albums, I've seen half. I'm on none.

But "Impersonal" is my favorite.

Read on.

Conan Speaks Out

In other shitty media news, NBC decided instead of cancelling "The Jay Leno Show" a shell of his former "Tonight Show" run, they will move it to 11:35, making it "The Tonight Show". And Conan? He gets shoved to 12:05.

Or he doesn't. Check out this press release where he tells NBC to go to hell. For a network with a history of shoving out Carson and scaring away Letterman, this should give some executives pause. Or get them fired.

Raimi Out of Spider-Man

The studio didn't like the idea of John Malkovich as Vulture. So he's gone and the entire franchise is getting a reboot.

Not sure how I feel about this. Raimi is a hell of a director (the committee thinking Spider-man 3 not withstanding)and Drag me to Hell proves he's still got a lot of passion for the cinema. But I never really warmed up to Maguire and Dunst. Tobey maguire nailed the Ditko brooding Peter but didn't get the robust Romita version that became the standard. And Kirsten Dunst? The less said about that casting the better.

There will be a Spider-Man 4 but the quality of it will be as up in the air as Spider-Man 1 was before 2002. Either way, I'll see it.

Beatles Suck

Ron Zabrocki has been making all his Facebook friends mad by lamely attacking the Beatles. This has caused the most animosity.

Show tomorrow!

Live January 9th 2010
Walker and the Brotherhood of the Grape
@ The Irish Circle
101-19 Rockaway Beach blvd Rockaway Beach N.Y. 11694
Showtime 9 P.M.
$10 at door The Brotherhood will feature special guests from the Caribbean...College and B.M.W.A!

Celebrating a few birthday's including Walker's. Giving a proper send off to a local friend who is being sent back to the middle east in service of our country. Thad-Rock and Danny Valk are keeping the bar.

The Brotherhood of the Grape is
Walker=vocals/guitar
Geoff Unger=lead guitar
Eddy Joe McCabe=bass
Brian Senders=drums
Jon Clarke=guitar
Mike Devellis=Sax

Cool Tech Tip

When I flew to Chicago for xmas, LGA was packed. Only at the tellers. The ATMs were wide open but I had run out of ink in the printer and never made an e ticket. I knew I had email in my iphone.

(and yes, I have an iphone. I bought it two days before getting assigned the Droid project and if I could break my contract I would. So stop smirking.)

On a hunch, I opened my gmail account, pulled up my email ticket, and used the gestures to make it the right size. Then I ran it under the scanner.

It worked. And it worked on the way home too. I haven't heard of anybody doing this before but I'm sure it will work for you.

And I'm sure it will work on a Droid ;)

Brotherhood of the Grape Saturday night!

Hometown gig this weekend! Come see how people I went to grade school with have aged.

Live January 9th 2010
Walker and the Brotherhood of the Grape
@ The Irish Circle
101-19 Rockaway Beach blvd Rockaway Beach N.Y. 11694
Showtime 9 P.M.
$10 at door The Brotherhood will feature special guests from the Caribbean...College and B.M.W.A!

Celebrating a few birthday's including Walker's. Giving a proper send off to a local friend who is being sent back to the middle east in service of our country. Thad-Rock and Danny Valk are keeping the bar.

The Brotherhood of the Grape is
Walker=vocals/guitar
Geoff Unger=lead guitar
Eddy Joe McCabe=bass
Brian Senders=drums
Jon Clarke=guitar
Mike Devellis=Sax

Iron Man Anime

I don't know if this is ever coming to this country, but man do I want to see it.

Jon as Dana Gould

Now let's celebrate Halloween.

I've been so busy I'm just getting around to putting up my second "Schtick or Treat" spot. But I still like it. Last year was Bob Newhart, this year Dana Gould. Not as well known so I don't get as many laughs from the impression but the material stands for itself and gets a great reaction. Enjoy.

Okay Then. That's It.

That was some decade, wasn't it?

I could focus on the ten years of crap we were handled by this world (eight of them by the Bush administration) but I think everyone with a blog, a tweet or a status update is doing that now. I like to think of things in a more self absorbed way.

When 1999 turned to 2000 I was in bed with a girl I met that day. Things could only go up from there. I met my wife two weeks later. I started in advertising, a career I would struggle against the entire decade, six months after that. I spent no energy in forwarding that track and the money on things I really cared about. Like more guitars, HD tvs and hardcover comic books.

Got married right in the middle of the decade. I was bored out of my mind by my job at this point and tried everything creative to get out of it. Joined a sketchy band, made little comedy videos (and sent them to Youtube as soon as they opened), and started this blog.

Then I discovered stand-up comedy. And got laid off. Within six weeks of each other. Everything changed. I gave it all up to persue a dream. A dream of pulling chuckles out of small groups of half drunk strangers. I put myself through several doses of humiliation to prove something to myself. That I was funny. I proved that much. Handing out flyers at the Improv I got seven shows a week and a "Colbert Report" audition. Things looked promising.

Then Ben was born. And everything changed again. I had a decision to make. I could either vecome a good comic or a good dad. I wasn't willing to sacrifice a son that was here for a career that might not happen. I stayed home to raise him and went out less nights. I got less bookings and apart from my own show (two years running) I wasn't part of the scene. Another audition, this one for the Onion, came and went and once the economy tanked, I had another decision to make. I had to go back to work.

Once Ben turned two, he was ready for day care and I was ready to go back to the office. I quickly got into Continuity as they merged with McGarry/Bowen and started pitching. Suddenly I was on a $100 million dollar account that everyone was talking about. I wrote a website that got millions of hits a day. I got a staff position, a promotion and an office. The success I was working so hard for fell into my lap from my back-up plan. The years of stand-up comedy had paid off in an unexpected way.

I'd like to say this decade changed everything but it changed everything again and again. This was the first real decade of my adulthood (the 90's were college and struggle, the 80's and 70's pure childhood) and yet things changed as much as they had in earlier decades. Now that I'm a husband and father, can I expect more changes from teh next ten years? Or maybe, a little stability.