Vanity Fair

Contest over.

Look what Vanity Fair is putting out next week. Vanity Fair! This cover is the exact opposite of its title. It's UNfair! Vanity UnFair! How am I supposed to go to work with this thing on the newsstands? I'll walk by one and that will be my day.

Brian tells me the third model was supposed to be Rachel McAdams. Instead we got this Jeremy Piven looking guy. I should be grateful for small favors. If Rachel McAdams were here, the frustrated man's trifecta would be complete and I'd just quit my job upon seeing it.

Please Vanity Fair, put this in a brown bag, up on a shelf, behind the Penthouse Letters, anything. Some of us don't have the time for your nude hypnosis.

Oh yeah, I'm performing tonight. Almost forgot. This cover has wiped my short term memory.