Jury Duty

I've been out of contact the last couple of days since the Federal Courthouse in downtown Brooklyn doesn't have wireless access. They confiscate cel phones there so asking to update my blog would be pushing it.

Federal court works differently from the state. When I had state jury duty three years ago it was like waiting in a bus station with a thousand people. In Federal it's like being in a hotel lobby with two hundred. They breezed through four cases in an hour and a half so they gave us a two hour lunch break.

Late that day, I got called onto a case that was scheduled to take three days. It was a tax case so it looked pretty dull until they said the magic words.

"The defendant has chosen to represent himself."

Jackpot!

I couldn't wait to hear three days of crazy dribbling out of this lunatic. Three days my ass. Just wait until he mentions medical experiments and snakes in his eyes. The five special agents would stand no chance. The case would drag on for weeks. It would be the greatest show on earth.

Then I mentioned I had to take care of my son and they excused me from jury duty altogether. I got out at four and went to an open mike with my civic duty cleared.

Stupid baby.