Writers

This year's Oscar broadcast was a lot less cheesy than most years (the absence of Billy Crystal will do that) but here was the coolest part. It just proves the adage of "write what you know". Most screenwriters will write about screenwriting.

Lack of Etiquette

The best show I'm not performing in. But I did take that picture.

Ed Murray, Tim Warner, & Lara Yaz
with Ensemble Studio Theatre present:

LACK OF ETIQUETTE III: NO ONE CARES

Aggressive, progressive, regressive comedy for intelligent citizens.

Featuring Jessica Kirson (The Tonight Show w/Jay Leno, Last Comic Standing)

Tom McCaffrey (Comedy Central's Premium Blend, Invite Them Up @ Rififi)

Hosted by Maddog Mattern (Howard Stern)

$10 cover, OPEN BAR!
SHALL I REPEAT THAT?!
$10 cover, OPEN BAR!

Saturday, March 3rd, 10pm
Ensemble Studio Theatre
549 W 52nd St, b/t 10th & 11th Ave

Also appearing: Jeff Sussman, Ed Murray (2006 Sal's Comedy Hole Laugh-Off Winner) Tim Warner (Comedynet) Lara Yaz (Lifetime Television)

COME, DRINK, AND LAUGH.

About Fucking Time

Comics Should Be Fun

I went to the NY Comicon yesterday and couldn't have had a worse time.

Last year's con was great. There was an excitement in the air. It had been years since the last convention in New York and it succeeded way beyond expectations.

This year they raised their expectations. With memories of last year in their heads, no one felt happy to see the fans. Sales were meeting expectations. New product looked exactly like last year's. Some of the exclusives were from last year. And everywhere I went, there was a palpable attitude. As I pulled myself through the crowds, I wanted to be anywhere else.

I left the con and went to the Parkside Lounge to catch a sketch show RG works on. As I entered the little room, it felt like coming home. My friends treated me like friends and new people treated me with respect. The show was fantastic. Here were people working much harder for much less than the big show at the Javits. But it mattered more. Because they cared.

Potty Mouths tonight!

The last show I hosted rocked. This one should be as good, and as free. I'm the MC again.

PottyMouths
in the Guero lounge @ Julep
Avenue A bet. 1 & 2 Streets
10 p.m.

Duncan Jay
Sue Ball
Dan St. Germain
Susannah Perlman
Becky Donahue
Mike Burns

The Return of Fetuso!

We had our 20 week sonogram yesterday. As you can see, we are the proud parents of a jack o' lantern.



I didn't realize when the doctor took an x ray of Renee's stomach that it wouldn't stop at the baby's skin. We could see it's entire skeleton, brain and heart beating. Four months in and my baby looks like the Evil Dead. I love Fetuso's smiley skull face.



Marshall says his babies can beat up my baby. But pictures of my baby can freak out his kids for years to come.

Comic Strip

Last night went great. I was the last to audition and got bumped twice, going on about 11. I was a little nervous but got through it much more easily than last time. I had practiced the set at RG's mike but somehow I still had time when I finished all my material. Luckily, I have more material.

I got even better feedback. Andy the MC was filling in for Starla and told me I looked like I belonged there. My jokes were well written and original and my stage presence was strong. While I'm not ready to pass yet, we both agreed it was a solid set. I got a VHS of it and as soon as I can transfer it to youtube I'll have it up here.

I Called It

Audioslave is dead. At least I got to see them.

Rogan v. Mencia

This is all over the internet and yet I feel like I should post it. Ed Murray has it on his blog but not enough of you go there.

If you're not a comic, this might seem like just a celebrity feud. It's way more important than that. Jokes take a LOT of work to get right and are the lifeblood of every comedian. That's all we have up there, our writing and our personality. There's no system in place to protect a comic's material so we have to rely on trust. Ed Murray and I once had a similar bit and we both dropped it (of course, the bit was terrible but the loyalty remains).

Mencia steals material. I've heard that since I started comedy. And listen to his argument. Joe Rogan recites facts, dates, names. He brings up witnesses. In the video he shows undeniable proof. Mencia sits there, not letting Rogan near the mike and repeats the phrase "whiny bitch". He stole from his opener. That's disgusting. There's no way this guy could avoid Mencia hearing his material. Mencia violated the small amount of trust he was given.

The saddest part of the story is Rogan is the one that's suffered. He lost his agent and was banned from the Comedy Store for speaking up. Business is siding with Carlos Mencia. Rogan has had three tv shows, two long running on NBC. Mencia has one basic cable show but it's hot now. Never has the cliche of 'yesterday's news' seemed so prevalent.

The most telling thing Rogan says on the video is, "How many comics are your friends? Nobody. Everybody hates you." I quit comedy for five years because I didn't make close enough friends. And I value every friend I've made in comedy in the last year. They're all that get me through the barking, the cancelled shows and the bad audiences. There's no money in the world that could convince me to trade places with Mencia.

Ed has a great article on other joke stealers linked at his site. He deserves the hits for that one.

Last Night

I'm hosting the 10:00 show. Good crowd. Aaron taps me on the shoulder. "We're gonna put up Jim Gaffigan next."

No problem. I go outside. "Hey Jim."

"Woah. You're like the Ron Silver of comedy."

I am fine with this.

"How international is the audience?"

"We got some Australians, Canadians, Ohio, Washington and Chicago."

Gaffigan thinks for a minute. "You know what? I'm good." He leaves.

That's a headliner.

Valentine's Day in 6 Inches of Snow

Renee stayed home and kicked me out of my office.
I lost a freelance gig for no real reason.
I had to trudge through seven blocks of snowdrifts with my pregnant wife to the restaurant.
And it was still the best Valentine's Day we ever had.
Thanks, Renee.

Jon at the Comic Strip!

I perform a lot now. So much that some of you have said, "I'll come see the next show that's important to your career."

This is that show.

I'm auditioning at Comic Strip Live this Monday, the 19th. If I do well enough, I can perform there every week. How do I do well? It's all about laughs. The club counts the laughs and the frequency I get and decides if I'm good enough to come back.

So come to the show and laugh at me.

I've got free tickets for anyone who wants them. And you're guaranteed to see a ton of great headliners. And Strauss.

Comic Strip Live
1568 2nd Avenue
Btwn 81st & 82nd St.
NYC, 10028
2/19/06
8:30 p.m.

Evil Dead: the Musical

For the last six months, I'd been planning on seeing this. Luckily Alex Grubard and Mike Drucker invited me to see it at the end of February. We got tickets for the 26th.

Saturday I got a myspace bulletin saying the show would be closing on February 17th. I ran over to the box office, exchanged our tickets and we went last night.

It was worth the aggravation. The show is hilarious and infused with energy. The songs are funny but it's the live staging that makes the musical magic. Ryan Ward plays Ash with just the right amount of Bruce Campbell.

It helps to have seen the movies and it helps more to have seen them a lot. The crowd went beserk with every catch phrase (most from 'Army of Darkness'). And there's blood. Ludicrous amounts of blood. You could see stagehands mopping it up during intermission.

I'm really surprised the show's closing. It first premiered at the Just For Laughs festival in 2003 and has been running consistently since. It's gotten great reviews. The room I saw it in was packed. They just recorded a soundtrack album. I don't know what else it needs to become a hit, except more audiences. If you want to see it, go this week. Click the banner above. Go. I mean it.

You still here?

Toy Fair 2007

I got to stop by Diamond's selection yesterday and took a lot of pictures. Unfortunately, I had to promise not to post any. So if you're interested in what's coming out this year, you can go here. Or here. Or here.

Renee came with me after shopping for maternity clothes and baby furniture. It made me realize Toy Fair is not supposed to be for me. It was originally for people like her; moms. They do most of the decision making when it comes to kids' purchases.

But my generation changed all that. We never stopped buying video games, comic books or action figures. And those industries had to grow up with us. Most industries complain about the adult collector but they never ignore us.

I Don't Wanna Grow Up

Not only is this one of my favorite videos ever, but looking back at this week's posts, it seems oddly appropriate.

Nobody Tells This Wookie What To Do

I rely on Walker for all my Chewbacca news, like this story about a man in a Chewie suit arrested for head butting people outside Grauman's Theater.

New Review

Now that Renee's pregnant, she really likes cute things. Luckily, Hasbro made superheroes cute. We had to have them and I had to review them.

Read my next figures.com review here.

Joss Whedon NOT Making "Wonder Woman"

He was. He stopped. He says so himself.

Super Bowl

I know less about football than anyone in the world but last night was good. When the Bears scored on the kickoff, the energy was charged. No one was taking their time to size up the other team. They were just going to go at it. The rain also squashed most passes and strategy so guys just slammed into one another. That I can understand.

RG, Tim Warner and Mike Drucker came up at the last minute. We were supposed to work on comedy but it never happened. Instead, Renee cooked too much and we spent more time playing Guitar Hero II than watching the game.



I blame that for the lack of work. But man was it fun.

As for commercials, they were pretty lackluster. I've seen enough Bud ads to last me until summer. And the two ads from college students were the same old tired ideas. I just saw a wrap up on the news and I'm really pissed they didn't mention the best one.



Hilarious in so many ways and best of all, a company I'd never heard of before. That's good advertising.

RG posted about last night on his blog and he actually remembers the game.

The Goddamn Weather

Sunday night I filled in at "The World". I went out barking for an hour. 28 degrees and snowing. Show cancelled.

Tuesday night I went to host at "The World". I went out barking for an hour. 28 degrees and snowing. Show cancelled.

Last night I went to host at "The World". I went out barking for an hour. 30 degrees and raining. Show cancelled.

Everybody tells me this is the dead time of the year and things pick up by Valentine's Day. It still puts comics in a bad mood. I haven't had a real show in a week.

When people ask me what I do, I say "I'm a comedian." Lately I feel like when people ask me what I do, I should say, "Nothin."

The Weather

Two stories today:

1. The groundhog says early spring.

2. Global warming is getting worse.

Same story really.

Aqua Teens Cause Bomb Scare

This story proves that the post 911 government is way too uptight. And that advertising guys are douchebags.