Friday, March 10, 2006

Mars Needs Probes

We're sending another one.

This is great news for the red planet. Recent studies show that Mars has a dangerously deficient probe population. In fact, the science community has reason to believe that Mars lacks even the technology to build their own probes. While Earth has enough probes to invade every human ass, Mars must rely on 100% imported probes.

"We've sent 125 probes to Mars in the last 18 years," Dr. McGoohan, a resident at the Probe Institute said, "It certainly isn't enough."

Why so many? "Mars is really, really big. One probe must cover an area of 500 square miles. It isn't fair to the probe and it certainly isn't fair to the population of Mars."

And what about the population of Mars? "We haven't found anything yet. But we think they're depressed. That could be why they've never come out of their homes, wherever those might be. We're guessing that if one of our probes enters a Martian village, they might have reason to rejoice again", Dr. McGoohan surmised.

What are NASA's future plans for the planet? "We're hoping to litter the entire surface of Mars with probes by 2009", says one scientist. "Once the surface of Mars looks like the surface of Detroit, we can all go to bed happy."

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